my lil but seems huge resolutions

The tragedy that woke the whole world made me shiver with much fear... If i would say by right ... though i fear to say that these signs showcased how old the world is getting and who i fear the worst thats yet to come...

The area hit : Phuket, filled with kemaksiatan.. and India, filled with the gods they worshipped, was probably because, Allah is showing his Almighty. Like one of the villager in Aceh who spoke that if it's fate that she dies, then it's her fate.

I do pity the people and i do fear and i was blessed with leaving in this area where we felt the impact indirectly but i stayed awake that whole night unable to glitch around nor was i been able to fall asleep peacefully these few days. The stories i heard bout the indian Ocean from Hasanah sent shivers down my spine even before the Tsunami.. so i can imagine how Tsunami affected the area.

It's so much like how Nabi Nuh had tried to survive by running all the way up to the peak of the mountain to avoid siksa from Allah to his people. It struck how far i am with God now and how i want to be more closer to him. The signs i see, the signs i see.. the nightmares i lived in these few days seems so real and it's not as if i was in a dream but i was there...

Where was i ? what was i doing.. It was clear in a minute but the more i tried to remember the faster it disappears.

This resolution i've set for myself is to get closer to Allah and be more thriftier and save and remember the less fortunate as well as those stucked in these countries. I've been blessed with all the great things to date. Thank you Allah. Selamat Tahun baru They said that now the age of the world is drawing near and it's getting old.. and its lifespan is getting shorter so are ours...

Flashbacks and flashbacks.

Somehow i felt glad that my friend has finally found the ideal guy for herself.. messaging her and wishing her good luck. Sweet nice lady who went through a lot and finally came to the point of settling down..No judgement here on the guy coz i've never met him nor knew much of him but i'm sure he is a lucky one and if he break her heart, i'll break his neck and burn his bike!!

My Smigel has been holding on to my crankiness for quite sometime and i became to hate myself for making him worried and the reactions i got from him was astounding .. thus the break from blogging a few days back. Though i was free at work i just stared and cant find the right words for him. I harbour my thoughts and i realised how self centered and selfish i was and how lucky i am to have him. His tolerance,his patience, understanding and his care, his everything was something that makes me fell for him even more.

I was home late,these few weeks busily catching time with the Starbucks barista and how muchfun i missed during that few weeks of disappearance. a gd chat with Smigel and went home to dl some stuff and ended up getting caught in a conversation with Max. Happy to know he is doing ok. Talked bout funny stuff and catch up on those days that we did our projects. Still same ol Max.

- Christmas Eve -
Eve was of christmas was spending time with my old classmate the nonsense crazy people, sanah and Ifah. Marni was missing coz we were afraid that she might need time to spend more time with Ayuni. Was late meeting them up since i was working then they had lucnh at BK. Talked and talked till we were chilling and freezing where we decided to walk by Esplanade. Sanah gitgot news of the engagement. Shell Shock but happy eh.

Took pictures with MY PORSCHE. i can't drive you seee so i showcased them at Fullerton waiting for Simgel to pay my license..( pictures will be up provided i get the pics from Ifah) ..Then there was the esplanade not crowded with human traffic as it could be in town. We had Choc covered Strawberries, my personal favourites..Met an old lecture mate at the rooftop and discovered that she is with StarHub and ironically doing the same helpdesk as mine difference was she has yet to cover the really technical part of Blackberry. She's planning to migrate to SingTel.. but should she have met me earlier i could have recommended the job (sigh..). Then more lepaks and ghost talks, Sanah's India trip and yes the catch up with each others life and stuff. Promised ourselves that we keep in touch again since sanah has activated her line and meet up more pften. I've been busted to keep myslef free so that i can spend more time with them as well..

Just merely thinking of bringing my whole classmates together last week and ended up meeting the two close ones was a good sign. Maybe i should maybe i could but with the different schedule..maybe the next time i meet up with ifah and sanah, we could plan it together...yes we should.

- 25/12/04 -
Mesage from Ming this morning made me smile and left me awake from the lazy mornings i usually have. There goes.. the other classmate has just brighten my day.Sometimes i felt that NS really sux. Now i began to pity my friends who led a boring life in camp and found no time to spend with their old friends.

i need more sleeep!!!

I was up and awake on sunday night's shift , aunties went peeping over and wondered how i settled to rest. Brought a small comforter along and my sex bomb became my pillow. It was cold every night and a sweater seems insufficient. But all in all managed three hours of sleep inclusive of the fear of calls buzzing and me in dreamland.

Spoke to Smigel for a while and he was at his aunt's house. I felt guilty for not going on leave coz when i went home the following day mom said there were very few people who helped cook for along's wedding. Plus i did not kendarat, first time i didn't for my relative and i wasn't even there on the two consecutive days.. went to Smigel's cuzzie's wedding and it was a get to know session. His family is almost as winding as mine.. so u can imagine the confusion state i was in.. nak kasi berkat dunno who is who.. fren or relative of the groom. His family is warm and friendly. The groom's lil sister got engaged on the same day the couple got solemnised. Big day coming next in his family would probably be ours and plans are still untouched and has not even started. Came home tired and exhausted.

Seems like a pattern that once my family helps out in weddings, that night, all will be asleep as early as nine. My peace for sleep finally came at around ten when the whole family was fast asleep. I had trouble trying to sleep though my eyes was tired. Kept imagining that i was at work and was afraid that the buzzer might just buzz on my callmaster and i had missed an important call.And now i still need much sleep and feeling the fatigueness...

Congratulations

Congrats to my second cousin who is also my 2nd auntie,whose wedding falls on 19. December 2004. Insyallah moga-moga jodoh Along berpanjangan dan berkekalan...

To a friend whose getting engaged, Good luck in your future undertakings and semoga your jodoh berpanjangan hingga membina impianmu

Pics loaded. SIS out of job again, sigh.. anyone who has a lubang kindly inform me aight.. Was spring cleaning and found out that her Thumb drive is working but her MP3 is spoilt. Borrowed hger thumb drive to load pics on the webbie..

Not much to say today just feeling a tinge of PMS which shouldn't be going on at this time of the month.. just dunno why .. nothing to write today.. may one day money just come falling from the sky and grows on trees to end my temptations..i need to go for a shopping spree...i'm drowning with deep thoughts in my head.......

new pc? Handphone fever?

Yes .. you see it right.. i think i should get a new pc at home or most probably get a laptop for myself. Dad's more IT savvy now and my sis is still crazily chatting.. just can't understand her addiction. mine has died way too long and i ponder how she can't get sick of that wireless world. Can't be bothered to redeeem the hot seat that i once had as a priority while at school. Can't be bothered if the hard disk is manifested with worms or virus so long as it's functioning. Too lazy to be bugged and i just gave in. Less tiffs and exchange of sneer remarks. Thus the image in my blog not updated. The unproductive me of loading pictures of hari Raya. And some images left at my works' hard drive that got transferred through shutterfly.

I'm left with just blogging at work.. no image editor software but just text. pure html with no dreamweaver. While one day if my Pc does break down at home, i'll take my own sweet time to fix them coz i wished it does one day (provided i save all my stuff on a back up. (evil nyer aku~** )) Then there'll be less nagging from my mom. more power saved. sis wun be using it til late nite etc, etc.

Had an eventful celebration which nearly became unsuccessful. and hope sheda is fine and ok now.

a nice day to blog and here comes the bad news

My mom is upgrading for sure! Dah maju hor! today she was signalling for a handphone.. ok.. Starhub is giving her 200 voucher and she wants to make use of it. Since tomorrow is my off day, she wants me and my sis to tag along and decide on the best plans for her.

For sure my bro will be eyeing and aiming for her phone. haha!this time she said "Ni kali mak nak pakai untuk contact bapa ko nak beli yang bagus nyer.. asik kena pakai second hand aje skejap aje rosak." we shall see.. we shall see .. we shall see.. It'll be a better idea t oget her a nokia phone and those that has big screens. Age is catching up on her eyesight..

Yesterday i went to my uncle's cukur rambut. We grew up together and now at 25, he is the proud father of a daughter. So glad that finally he's a father. Nur Alfi Amalia was borned on Dec 4 2004 at 08.31AM. Siapa nak beli nombor silakan.. ahaha so sweet and tiny. There were so many people friends and family and best part is everyone ate on dulang... the way i always liked to eat when we kendarat last time.. only thing was the people whom i used to ate with has now turned their back on me.

Kenapa orang slalu senang marah dan tak senang mengampuni? Kenapa orang slalu tak siasat dulu dan angkuh? My events in my life like i said in my previous blog was never smooth. Yes i did meet the sweetest people but i also met people who have been growing up with me to turn their back on me and who can i trust?? that leaves me in pending monotonous wonder that still haunts me.
Sometimes you know that you were not wrong and yet you apologize. why can't they accept the apology? Some say if u love the person , you'll let them go.. i've made people go away from my life afraid from being stuck in a sandwich by harbouring the blame but do i really should put myself i n the blame just to save my other party from losing more friends and now do i bear the pain of losing two instead of the one who refused to pick my apologies?y in the world do i take the initiative to bring two person in soured relationships together? why do pple have to add in ingredients of hate to make my relationships with the loved ones that was soured instead of adding the ingredients of love for me?

..SMS Message received: 11 December 10.23AM
From : XXXXXX
Message: NANI SAMPAI HATI DA TUNANG TAK JEMPUT XXXXX EH!!!

.I am sorry to all my friends who were not invited. Though the news is slowly reaching to my circle of friends.. some close ones who were furious.. I am sorry i had no space of words to invite my whole colony of friends. It was more of an exchange of gift, a reunion of families and a treat of a feast and i never thought that i was getting engaged.. never dreamed coz i never did want the event to be an engagement. The guest list was controlled byPapa. Papa's family filled the hall and even that was not full strength. Some of my paternal and maternal uncles had to work and thus only the people that came. Then i had cousins who were working that day and Papa was even reprimanded by his aunt for not calling his uncles and other aunties .. it's not easy if you come from a big family. Close or far relatives, they're still related to my family tree. Should you one day jumped into my family tree you will realised how the roots twined. Grandpa's became uncles, aunties and uncles became cousins , criscrossing my father's and mother's family tree.. and the tree is so big that sometimes you dun even know you were related until you attend a relative's wedding.

To those affected i am so sorry. But please give me your contact number and when the big day arrive you'll be in my guest list. this i promise that it might come true.. coz it was a dream that when i get married my friends will be there to celebrate the joyous occasion with me

My starbucks story and the PMS that left me

I was devastated. Full of anger.. Planned my day to go for time off and secretly without my manager's approval wants to go to work at Orchard Parade Hotel's Starbucks. main reason because i get to work with the best team that went through me and the batch i came with. Who cares if it was underpaid from what i used to get. They took a risk in getting reprimanded by The District Manager accepting me to work there without any attachment approvals.

Wawa, Mus, Ivan, Kalid,Fala (yes you saw that correctly! she's back and very thin-lah) and of coz the two managers Sue and Big Amin. Alamak i tell you i miss the syiok-ness. But sadly i was dutied to cover my friend who went MC last minute probably because i refused to swop my shift with her.there goes work.. 8am -8pm . madness today 8am -8pm again. I wanted to spend my time with my old friends.. my ex-baristas yesterday.

Then i was in fits of anger and driving my patience were the customers from hell, training for two new staff, plus answering of their queries. It was like a quiz day for me everyone posing troubleshooting questions and shooting me down. Then there were unplanned plans made and cancelled which further left my bloood to an anxiety level fo anger and depression.

Once done at work i rushed to OPH and yes meet all of them.. update of phonebooks when everyone starts to pop their phone.. and they were all in dress code. me? macam keje singTel.. pakai baju merah oops. just coincidental coz formal. All in all the time passes by quickly after me, Jun popped by late for 'work' ahaha she missed the job that she started to work for an hour inside.. all headaches gone! Uzy faizal and wan came after. We blocked the entrance and joined 2 tables. Laughters were prominent at our side. Then all the ol mischiefs came out. maciam maciam stories came out .. the tudung gals lah , burung, trophy, tiger, kambing, garfield...

* there were two 'kambings in OB' *ehems kak juli~ oh she's the cool relax species.
* Big Amin the act cool guy by the bar who can make somewhats heart stop!
* Wan the scientist
* Khalid the Al-Qaeda
* Mervis the stock up everything equally even the number of cups
* Kak sue the loud hailer.. boi she can shout from one end to the other!
* Uzy the writer
* Yan the 'yesss sir/ hi ladies how can i help you?' and his "takpelah sue~'
* The siamese twins
* The cheena twins
* Zul the chinese lady chaser
* Ivan the guy who got gays and girls interested
* Fala the sweet and ever forgetful
* and many more..
me? i was the one who can make the customers all go silent! (Waaahahaha)

The food drops, the squashed cakes, the dustbin shock, the mop room, Awang the mysterious partner in OB some never see, the fridge hide, the ice bath, the reign of the army, the oscars, the bar mocha bath, the dish shower,the break fast, the smoke breaks, the toilet breaks, etc..

Boy we missed all the good times and were left with just that few hours to catch up.. by the end of the day the troubles simply disappeared and came back only after late night i was able to cool down and realised that i am just nobody and to sail in the journey of life which is never full of smooth waves. I'm glad i met these people in my life, an experience worth to be part of my sailing journey.

big feast of Spaghettis and laksa..popiah and pizza.. flying with chicken and black pepper..satay.. ever traditional

Thank you loads to sheda for the initiative of getting the van.. i love the trip! all cramped together and every inch was filled with all of us..how i wished ekin was also there. Van was a bit old but all went well with no rush of missing out anyone's house..

Fyr was the 'supir' (driver in jawa) plus time keeper..Leen the camerawoman, who goes around clicking her Ixus. Sheda busily pre-occupied of making sure her lil sis looked sweet and neat with her pink tudung. Ezi ensures that her hair is all ok touching up once in a while *ehem will be reveal the pictures later on where she touch up *. Min the tall one ensures that the lift picture taking captures everyone.. dear clinging his Bombastic camera amongst all the cameras present. Is was the loud hailer that brought the trip back to life and Ana determined to get the bench from her roof top brought to the other side of the corner.

Me? My sandals broke after we left Min's house (*blushes) so much for high heels! the chain broke not the heels ..i guessed my sandals decided to fail me..hmmph~! There goes my favourite sandal. Thank you Min for providing me with the necessary. With the help of a rubber band and a safety pin, my shoe managed to survive the whole trip. Thanks also to my dear who helped mend my shoe though you became all confused on how to secure them (",)

I enjoyed the serenity of the people who built the jigsaws of my life. Plus someone smiled at me and tripped.i felt guilty.i was curious. My smile made her fell. That asolutely made me guilty. She suddenly disappeared out of my view and that made me curious. All in all it was a relief that my friend is all Ok. My friends. They were great. I love their company. Pictures were taken so many times and it kept clicking coz we were **stars** tat day. We were plunged into heavens of food that even i felt that we ate too much. From Pizza to KFC, (Spaghetti X 2 ) to chicken wings( KFC, normal chicken & black pepper at diff houses) to very nice satay. Mee hong kong and then there were Laksa X 2 at Lin and ana's house. For light dinner we had Popiah and lastly Mee Soto.. It was a feast at every house. It was sunny that day ohhh you can imagine how thirsty we were!
There were a series of topics discussed under the sun. Form bitches to soccer, to the latest movie, Alexander and Shutter. Talked about shutter i went to see them just noe-
At the end of the day... my stomach could burst.. lucky for me i skipped wearing any kebayas or such,... if not by three houses i'll be suffocating!
Weekend was a bliss but come work today it was nightmare. i'm beginning to feel the cons of shift work.. it's like when you have rest day and there are too many swops to go around, it become a hasty part where you wish you can say no but it's hard to do so though.

More busy schedules ahead..
7 Dec Lout returns to spore
8 Dec training @ SingTel/ Starbucks free Flow and working at Orchard Parade
9 Dec 8am to 8pm training @ SingTel
10 dec training @ SingTel
11 dec Open house/ training @ SingTel/ dinner raya
12 dec wedding of a good friend
14 dec dinner
18 dec Course @ Starbucks /dinner at Dear's cuzzie/
19 dec wedding at dear's cuzzie...
...my body needs a rest sigh~