junkiez

kakak no!!!

2009-04-05T00:03:00.000+08:00

It happened right before my watchful eyes.

The girl rolled down a few steps and tumbled some 360 down...I sure remember she hit her head. Yes we were lucky the stairs were carpetted. Where were we?

We were at the new mustafa centre(I think they called it the 3rd building or somethin)with my parents and the pak chu. I had just came out from the toilet cleaning adik's poo and and the gyrl was on level 2 with pak chu. Daddy was not ard. He was at work.I hunched that she was trying to walk down and just as I was to say something, she tumbled.my heart jumped.

It's really so hard now to watch over them. The kakak is so prone to accidents now.the adik oblivious to my rants and shouting.

Just last week, she fell from her chair, now her arm can't bend fully.

She is such a 'darling' now kissing the adik but if her mood is unpredictable, she tonyol her adik!thatcame yesterday and again I was ard!but behind her I think she loves her adik a lot. When she cries it pains me that there is sadness of 'does everyone love adik more'. My. Hats off for the parents of kids whu divide their love and attention equally.for me I try to be equally fair and I am still coping with it

like katak bawah tempurung sia

2009-04-04T23:44:00.000+08:00

Ask me abt the development of orchard road..I'll be clueless.

I've realised that with marriage comes less jalan2 ard town or anywhere especially with two small kids and no license to drive and we basically visit places which are baby friendly and near to home or the inlaws and family weddings which are never ending.

I bet I will be so suaku if I step in town now coz I do admit I go to only suntec, bugis,marina square,imm and vivo. We've never brought our kids to the new east coast,zoo, the hhort park and marina barrage, or even west coast park which is just at least 5 busstops away from home.kalau dulu, every week step town to meet up with friends entah brapa kali in a week!

My target, if its still not too late, visit this places before 2009 ends.well at least I have 8 mths more.. Go nani!!

building cobwebs

2009-03-28T01:03:00.000+08:00

yes.. cobwebs in our new house.. we have no time to survey for a contractor and with adapting to the new headcount...It's left empty for the thir month now. I sure have big plans but i guess that will have to hold on. Sigh.

2nd month of maternity already!

2009-03-28T00:59:00.000+08:00

Kudos to the SAHM to be able to withstand this long break and never feeling the pinch to be back at work. I should be enjoyin my maternity but I'm feeling the exhaustion raising 2 kids during my maternity, more tiring than working and looking after the gyrl. i can forecast the additional stress when i get back to work and i hope i cope well enough. Plus to bring them home at dusk when our house is ready and forth at dawn. houshold chores,which i hope hubby would successfully share the load and not taichi back to me.

hopefully by next month i could adapt to it. So far this 2 months have been short, with alot of series of the unexpected. The gyrl nearly got admitted to the hospital, sick twice, hubby had his exams, The boy, myself an hubby unwell and boy the kids are growing so fast.

I am trying my best to catch up their development, both sis and bro so that i dun miss them if i pay too much attention on one. The sis is really gd at her speech now and trying out sentencing words. Its a bit jumble up but her vocab is magnificant. She parrots too, but of course we have to watch what we say. She remembers it and will surprise us with teh words at the correctime. Like when she said,"terperanjat aku"... i think i was more terperanjat than her! She used "aku" at the age of one plus?? Her R is lost sometime.. "Abbas royan" became "Abbas Yan". "Mandi" became "Nani"? She called me by my name at times. And the tone like how my mom called me .. Then there is tantrums that i hate and trying to fix them. mummys out there teach me man.. i smacked her feet cause i was damn irritated and i lost my patience. It was like berbuih buih explaining to her not to throw herself but it didn't work so came the smack feet and glare and yeah she is very young but at which age should i start discipline. my belief was correction and teaching her why it has to be corrected but will she understand?I pray i taught her right. And she knows when to say "sorry,Mama" and sob with her big round eyes, jus like puss in boots in Shrek. Of course, that part i will melt and hug her.

The Boy is growing so well(now at 6KG!) that even when he fall sick, he was seen to be doing fine. The boy same down with a chokin episode last Saturday night. He was gasping to breathe and was crying. There were abt 8 cycles before he fall asleep. We hesitated to bring him to the hospital but because of his fragility,his coughs that is getting worst and dad's advice of looking after the boy's lungs we decided to bring him to KKH the next morning.

The trip was a long one, got ready them both, drop the girl to the in laws since mom had to attend something.Fortunately the queue was light. Therer was no traces of ater in his lung but because of his age, he was admitted as they want to make sure it is not fits but choke.

I stayed with him through the night since i need to BF him. Hubby insisted in keepin me company but i shoo-ed him to work since he was on leave on friday, MC on sat due to his fever and CCL on sunday. If he took another leave on monday, it could just eat his leave since he has been taking his exam leaves and CCL leave for the dotter during her gastric flu experience plus its only MAR 09. there is 9 more months to go before the next year came.

At the hospital, the night was like a nursery. One after another, the kids cried like a domino effect. the machines too beep continuously. when one machine stops the other machine from another bd beeps. sometimes it beeped together

I'm glad to be back at home but the sleepless nights is catching up on me. i miss my naps. There is so much to do no time for myself and 3 more weeks to working world.

infested

2009-03-28T00:12:00.000+08:00

I think I've sat too long at home and watch/listen to too much disney channel.Every night the songs from that channel rings and flashes on my head.Today was dibo the giftdragon, yesterday was little Einstein.. there were days of mickeymouse clubhouse, handy manny, tigger and pooh, and the most addictive, was a competition between noddy and his friends and Dibo the gift dragon..

So much that the girl would brighten up when this songs, especially mickey, pooh and dibo if mummy sang them.

Of course it became a bedroom conversation with hubby and he agreed that Dibo the gift dragon was in fact one of her fav tunes apart from "Mouse"and "elmo".

Coming to terms with two

2009-01-05T14:27:00.000+08:00

Yeah. Two.. There will insyallah be two kids, one due anytime now.. the EDD is 26 jan but it felt like baby can pop anytime now. How not to worry, TWO colleagues one due on 20, delivered on 2 jan, the other's edd, on 28 Jan, delivered on 28 Dec. Me.. waiting to pop.

Some even sms-ed me and tot i had popped! Am i ready to pop? oh dear, the bag is not even packed.I'm to packed for TWO this time. Hubby wants to stay with me for the night this time. his tired of travelling thru and fro from our first baby experience. I'm not ready to go.. and hubby calls me every day 3,4,5,6 times... to make sure i'm at work no where else near the gynae.. coz he does not want to miss it.

The gyrl, now sleeps at my arms. She can pretends she can sleep far away from me, but when she sleeps it's like magnet, i find her at my arms clinged in the middle of the night. The hubby has started to have less tempers than he did, he;s more impatient to hold his baby.

TWO adiitions in TWO months.. how cool right.

We'll have a house of our own proudly owners..instead of TWO mobile house we used to have it's gonna be a three in Jan 1-TWO(we're collecting our keys on 12 jan and hopefully i have not popped yet, otherwise hubby go on his own la)

So will my parents enjoy another additional baby this yr? meaning TWO baby in a yr.. (that we have to ask the newly weds hor)

So i guess TWO is definitely the number for me now.

The boss is on Hospital leave, leaving us TWO away from team for the moment.

Oh! and TWO may make TWO holes in our pocket. Insyallah we will pull thru..

It's about 2008

2009-01-05T14:11:00.000+08:00

2008 ended almost a week back(what outdated post)and today I'm 37 weeks with 21 days left to my EDD.

It's been a challenging, challenging year. A different pregnancy from the first. A jumpy year ended with uncertainty, a new job with love, enduring the stress at work..from my old and new job. then there was hubby's exam blues, to getting a home, running from one end of Singapore twice for the two important ladies of my life, in June and Nov, for their important dates, and Alhamdulillah they r happpy, happily married, to a wedding preparation of beloved bro and welcoming the addition of a new family member, my dear lil sis, to preparing for labour to top the icing or the cream of 2008.

There were more things to think of besides the baby.the first trimester passed with a lot of puking, the second, with raya, stress at work and hubby's exam and the third preparation for bro's wedding which went solidly well. These days are left to pace myself back and hoping to enjoy maternity with the lovely kids.

This time my dear baby was more active than the dear gyrl. The hubby more practically craving for rojak india or chicken or starbucks or even Qiji food. (he still haven got his rojak he last asked for even though we had it several times during my first and second trimester!) Hubby was more temperament and not that he don't know, but he admitted his short, tense self all by himself.(Let's just say I was much more patient then he was this time)

It was also different because we had to share it with my baby. I'm still seeing my gyrl as baby like it was always a yesterday, that she was born, not months ago. I'm having a hard time to really admit she's a kakak because I think she's too young to understand she's a kakak and her role she'll need to hold responsibility in the future.

I'm awed with her development altogether. She's expressive, registers what we do, How we talk and how we react. Her intelligence made us proud parents, her friendliest self and love warm us up. Her teachers, an empty lot; by the uncle, the grandparents, us, and the young ones, oshi and yash, either amuses us, cringe us for their nonsense or made us sigh with relief. She knows the gender of the baby when you ask her, she misses her uncle so much nowadays.. she will tell us her uncle is not ard. she mimics her Yash crying when we ask her where is Yash,

All in all 2008 left me with lots of great decisions to take and impacted a lot on us. I had a swop of job which left me blessed. stressed but it was well worth it. Now my team is complete and kicking?

And hoping bro and wife gets blessed with kids soon and then my dear gyrl will have cousins!!! Hmm, i love cousins! Blessed with a lot of them during my little childhood, It was totally cool, to have sleepovers, and tricking our granparents into really spoiling us during school holidays. I hope they get that joy too.

ARGH!!!

2008-12-11T04:43:00.000+08:00

of all things, i have to misplace my daughter's gown for the wedding reception!!!!!! i'm so in hot soup now! It's only 3 more days!

complainin and panic!

2008-11-20T14:33:00.000+08:00

I typed a lenghty complaint and ended up switching off the mail switch of my stystem yesterday because i was so eager to resolve a case!

A user is now a happy user. we gave up on his lappy(now waiting for the vendor to check the fan(though we suspect it could be the network card) )yesterday and loaned a replacement lappy, all went fine. however still need to follow up his case.. one user so many case
Then there are so many cases in the region and i'm hooked to so many remotes and also multi tesking*prrfh*
The card is FINALLY ready today.. one lengthy burden away. and daddy is more contented.I made a big big lie(bohong sunat last night, to save them from grumbling and mumbling under their breath)Told them the man delivered yesterday and i'll bring it home tomorrow with my bro. then no qns asked.which is actually the card is not with me yet.

Then this morning, mama called and said" we're coming to your office to collect the cards". My vendor called to meet up to fix an issue too soon after that call.

Me: (in my thoughts)SHIT! ok mama, come after 2PM lah.. i call back again. I called the uncle, begged a bit and told me my crisis and he agreed to come ard lunch. Plea again and he said ok i come now lah.
At the same time the SIL called saying someone looking for me, hubby called for my FAX number, The user called for help, The phone rang again and this time, my financer called me, and the vendor came for a fix at my regional office.. fast of him and then phone rang, uncle said 15 minutes i meet you ok to pass the card.. %$%#!!

I prayed vendor to finish a bit early but sadly he tookl onger.. oklah i managed to take the card while he fix it. BUT the printing uncle forgot the envelope! He promised to send in the afternoon.. but how, mom coming to take card at 2PM! and my parents are pretty very punctual people not like their gyrl! and then i have to get the envelope but i dun want to spend more money buying from outsource! so not worth it right! Uncle even want to deliver to mom at her house but i told him they on the way here already.. **i was perspiring and panicking*. In the end, i told mom to meeet at 1pm,(earlier than scheduled) and get the envelopes from the uncle's shop at ubi.. Dad was super pissed. i have to make a last lie; the envelope was too small for our card. end story. uncle gave me the addie and arranged his guy to pass to my parents to collect at their ubi shop. uncled was apologetic but nice he gave me extra card(i never count coz i trusted him lah) sigh ..i think he just can shook his head.. we got our asses covered.

I'm so glad now the card is finally out. *pheww* i'm sure dad is eagerly excited that his son is getting maaried but not showing it.
I'm beginning to panic that i've not gotten any thing yet for the new baby. the only new romper we bought was worn by the sis just twodays back. thanks to the atok! a 0-3 month romper, atok wore for the gyrl who is already 18 months! sigh.. so officially no new thing for the baby.
I'm still wondering whether i should get the avent electric pump. i broke the motor and it's super gd.. left with the manual but so leceh. then my medela pump could be stationed at work..otherwise i will need to carry to and fro from work when i start work. then maybe no bonus some more. *hints* i want an avent elctronic pump! but cost a bomb.
The cot needs a new mattress. or maybe i wanted a fresh mattress for the baby? my wants .. the babysafe mattress but havent drag hubby to get them.
Then clothes for the baby .. not sure sufficient. and we d not want to spend like we did last time for Balqis! now she has occupy every inch of teh wardrobe enuff for her adik? i assume a BIG NO. so we cant shop much till we move over to new house!
New house is settled but worried we might be rushing. we took a big step to get a house AT THIS TIME WHEN MONEY NEEDS TO BE SAVED. but i guess we either do it now or we will grumble for a house all the time. appt will be a day after bro weds.. so tiring december after a tiring november..
the back on my left side is really aching..my leg numbs i miraculously put on only 3 kilo! and at 7 months.. baby is super active and some say tummy big some say small.. so long i deliver normally and baby fine and healthy, i have no complications i'm contented.The last two visit baby is in breech, now back to engaged, next week, hopefully engaged too because i feel baby tumbling so much and i even dreamt that baby's fingers created a thumbprint and i was holding the hand last night! kaka also chuckles and mumbles on my tummy, anytime she wants and kisses baby alot.

off to home now .. tomorrow, another battle to help Indonesia issue. I'll be lying if i do not love my job now even though i'm fighting fire..

dialogue with hubby

2008-11-11T20:02:00.000+08:00

One fine night we were having our norm chats and i was telling hubby how peacefully she slept..how fast she's growing then hubby said," yar.. and the mummy talks in her sleep asking the gyrl to seat during her sleep" he chuckled. i was chanting"Seat ..Seat ..Seat" in the middle of the night...... oh dear signs of fatigue?I rarely sleeptalk and ended up talkig in my sleep!

back again/

2008-11-11T19:58:00.000+08:00

finally. ok i actually have ten minutes to blog this morning, It's been a very busy month of oct and nov.

I FINALLY completed my bro's card but i lost my quotation.Shit* and to think i wanted to ask for discount and not be quoted the same price or be overcharged. And i STILL have not printed it YET. and i need it up before i stepped on my daddy's and bro's toes. Famly, u know how teperamental they can be huh. and it's almost a month to the weddin!

Then there was a crazy spell of cari rumah. .

we were the usual spore kiasu couple this time. applied the HDB bi-yearly sale and the BTO for Jurong. and at the same time sempat hunting for resale to test market. Then our itchy eyes saw this ad showing a house somewhat near/far parent's home and we surveyed and fall in love at the discount they giving .. s o grab at impulse after we checked the owner background. It'll be a hefty sum to renovate.. sigh. BIG sigh for us and now I cant leave the workforce yet to be a housewife. Otherwise hubby will need to work 24 hours a day! so we paid the agent our deposit without hesitation. UNTIL of course when we reach home we became worried and started to read more abt house resale. our number for bi-yearly sale was released a day before meeting the agent the second time to submit our doc for the first appt! the number: 554, within reach of the available number of flats sold by HDB!!!! sakitnyer hati.. luckily the locations are far offf our mom's neighbourhood otherwise.. i'll bag my head for wating my money!bro's number was even betta. 4999!

Then there was a report in the papers which made us sleepless. PLus we had to quickly register our HLE back again by 14 days. and we had to get our savings for the next payment. and we only had a receipt of the payment with NO documentations! So last weekend i requested for the every copy of the docuemnation and alhamdulillah the agent gave with no hesitation. of course hubby terbegik because we couldnt believe we managed to korek that much amt of money from our savings!

then there were busy schedules of looking after the gyrl, and getting real sick but going to work. i'm not sure why but i think i'm feverishly addicted to work in here. I had three days mc but chose to came on all days and kept the leave instead. i think i never practised this in my whole career life. hubby nags at me for not taking care of health esp baby but i dunno why i just felt that i'm fit to go to work eventhough the dr thins otherwise. ALhamdulillah now i'm recovering and so far the scan last weekend, baby seemed fine and actively kicking and tumbling in the tummy. Dunno why i get so frustrated with the users lately but on the otherhand i just felt that if i dun help them, at least i tried my best to help most of them and try to keep under a deadline.

forgetfulness spells are coming to absorb my brain cells. a lot of things misplaced or forgotten. then there is always a punctuality issue lately for me. Wake up early and still late becoz of the gyrl.crying and refusing to salam because i'm off for work.And going back i wish there was another type of bus. the bus that waits for you instead of you waiting for them!

i did not grow up with this gyrl, but we got close during poly is getting married!! this weekend and i wish her hapiness and blissful.. so finally left only two of my close poly friends not married yet. oh anothe busy weekend looms ahead. wedding car deco not thought of yet!

One Big STEP

2008-10-28T09:06:00.000+08:00

We made a very Very VERY VERY big step to this decision ... It's the biggest decision we made since marriage and it concenrs the future.

It's gonna cost us so much. we signed with an impromptu decision. Ya allah, please make it barokah for us.

plastic dangers

2008-10-15T07:10:00.000+08:00

Are our baby bottles affected?

Did you ever drink from a plastic bottle and see a triangle symbol on the bottom with a number inside?

Do you know what the number stands for?
Did you guess that it's just for recycling?
Then you are WRONG !!!!!!
THE NUMBER TELLS YOU THE CHEMICAL MAKE UP OF THE PLASTIC.....

1) Polyethylene terephalate (PET)
2) High density polyethylene (HDPE)
3) Unplasticised polyvinyl chloride (UPVC) or Plasticised polyvinyl chloride (PPVC)
4) Low density polyethylene LDPE
5) Polypropylene (PP)
6) Polystyrene (PS) or Expandable polystyrene (EPS)
7) Other, including nylon and acrylic

What you aren't told is that many of the plastics used are toxic and the chemicals used to create a plastic can leach out of the plastic and into the food / drink.

Think about it, how many times have you or a friend said 'I don't like this, it taste like the plastic bottle ..... '

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE TASTING THE PLASTIC

The WORST ONES are Nos: 3, 6, and 7 !!!

DO NOT USE THESE NUMBERS if stated at the bottom of the bottle) !!!

Check out this chart that breaks down the plastic, its uses and chemical makeup
(I find #7 a little scary)

http://www.epd.gov.hk/epd/english/environmentinhk/waste/guide_ref/guide_plascod3.html

Reusing plastic bottles by refilling them is NOT a good idea. WATCH THIS VIDEO:
http://video.wnbc.com/player/?id=238518

Microwaving plastic containers affects the chemical make up of the plastic, allowing the chemical substances to destabilize and leach out more quickly into the food you are reheating. You can check out this article that ran in the Wall Street Journal:
http://www.mindfully.org/Plastic/Microwave-Health-Problems.htm

EVEN one of my favorite 'RUMOR DEBUNKING' websites, URBANLEGENDS.ABOUT.COM

Lists the information as: overblown with a grain of TRUTH
READ the FULL 3 pages of the article!

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl-microwave-dioxin.htm

AVOID re-using plastic bottles RIGHT AWAY !!!

Eve of eve of Raya

2008-09-29T06:28:00.000+08:00

I'm in no mood to work.. so disappointed that Massa ended up the last and alonso being first.grh! Well at least looking at a brighter sight less calls may stream this week since most of my colleagues are on OIL due to the weekend F1. plus raya in two days time!!

I'm praying that tomorrow is Half day. I'm not done ironing the clothes for hubby, especially his baju kurung and my work clothes. sampul money not in yet, that could wait. my Kek lapis not collected. my hubby songkok not refreshed.

Realised that most of my iftars were with my family, hubby, in laws and i did not managed to squeeze all 30 days for a day for my friends. i feel so bad.

Mummy grumbling that i never took a day off on the eve. She needs to cook but i need to work coz i'll be taking 4 days leave alone in oct. 2 for after raya and 2 more due to checkups. I just hope hubby changed his mind on breaking fast on the eve, at the in laws so that i dun have to rush home to iron his clothes and my tudung and touch up the creased ends of my baju kurung. Qish never liked the idea of me ironing clothes. She wants me to carry her. Sigh. it really slow me down on my ironing these days.

i try not to think of which side we need to go first coz the issue will probably leave me in no mood to raya, hubby side first? or mine first? Hubby is also avoiding the discussion since he knew by right it should be my side first this yr. I dun want to spend a complicated first day again. Prays that hubby give way and let me have raya with my side..first.

Our Layang-layang

2008-09-17T18:21:00.000+08:00

The product:

Freshly made: The Sweet Layang2

Per bottle - $17

The Chilli Layang-Layang

Per bottle - $19

Collection can be arranged. The layang-layang is only made effective today to gurantee freshness for Syawal.

Interested please message me at 93379027 with your requests.

As the business is overwhelming we will be stopping orders on Friday, 19 Sept 2008 at 10PM.

Layang layang for sale

2008-09-17T17:45:00.000+08:00

If u guys are interested.....a place for Iftar.

2008-09-17T09:42:00.000+08:00

I've not tried it before but i guess no harm trying. i'm treating my hubby to this. His results will be out tomorrow. good or bad dun ask me and i wun be blogging about it.. It's a treat for all the stress he had studying and waiting for the results. I think it's more of waiting for the results that's killing him at the moment and I'm always pulled in because at this time i'm his pillar in his studies. I pray and doa his results will be good enough ..amin.. counting hours before we get the results... hur hur like waiting for a timebomb to explode

The first night race

2008-09-17T08:53:00.000+08:00

I took a dip in volunteering to stand by on the F1 for my company,.. eventhough the company has put me away because of my pregnancy. well at least i'll get two days OIL and not much action to be entertained hopefully it will be about makan gaji? I'll be making sure my team can work and everything falls into place and the connection to reach our company's network is fine. Easy task, i dutifully hope so and then enjoy the race.

Hopefully it all goes well and i can go home on time for break fast. We've been anticipating the F1 since the time i joined and with the team working hard to fill the positions.. We're all geared and ready and hoepfully everything goes fine. counting days now.. from a few months to a few days how time flies man.

SO i have to make sure i do all the clean ups this week. and get ready for raya if not i'll i'll be chasing ard last minute like i did last year! Let's hope raffels city shopping centre is open on that day so i can shop and get my stuff before heading home.. hmm

where have i been missing

2008-06-20T04:02:00.000+08:00

It's been so long since i sit down, read emails, or even finish up my bro's card.. and in fact it just started...and i hope the drafts satisfy him so i dun have break my head.

Disappointment-

-We could not get our house. It was sold the time we checked. Then we received the message from HDB that all houses HAVE BEEN SOLD AND YOUR APPT IS CANCELLED.
darns. wat to do.. the number was freaking huge! and then they came out with the system if u dun get a house within two applications, ur number will be leftover numbers.. %^$@! We met our MP and nearly got rejected because this volunteer insists we are not volunteers of our constituency. So does that mean i leave under my GRC and cannot ask for help just because i dun volunteer? and it's a meet the people's session! grrh! luckily some or them thought otherwise since i was sometimes helping with west coast GRC under Jamiyah PP and gave us a chance to meet the MP. MP browsed the letter and stressed that he will help us appeal and make sure we get a house if given a better number.. insyallah. and of course if the number is still humongous, meet up with him again! hopefully we get a house before bro gets married, insyallah.

Excitement-

The gyrl, growing up real fast.. and too fast for me. sometimes i hope i dun spoil her but educate her instead. time on laptop is lesser because she is starting to slap on the keyboards of he laptop.. and pointing on on the screen as if it was a touch screen! Plus hubby will sigh if i am online.

Stress -

Emails are bulging and finally bursting my inbox.. no time to clear. work.. no SLA. so means all are priorities... but it should change once SLA steps in.. currently i'm with no partner and the mgmt making sure the partner is a well chosen one. user base are ok. some great and some u want to kill them for their qns... but what to do... it's HELP-desk.

It's warm how my team takes care of me.. but sometimes i felt that i have so much to learn from them. and the boss, and Ms Boss, super nice. Which i am grateful with.

HUbby's exams are nearing. he's so stressed and i am so worried.

itching to go somewhere with our savings...but we need to save for something big coming our way..

Taking a break today.
going for my test today..hur hur... insyallah pass!!!!!! and then out with hubby and my dear baby to meet his ching chong grand papa at Raffles Hospital for my appt check up and then spore flyer? or hot air balloon before they disperse from Spore..

Weekends the inlaws want to borrow the grand daughter.. sigh first time i get seperated from her on weekends.felt so sad and disappointed that i wun be spending a day with her..haiz... just hope she behaves and do mummy proud when she goes out with the grandma and auntie and she returns early so i can have ample time with her.. i just wished they can take her on weekdays but i guess i can't "sell fish" right?

Between parenting and work

2008-05-06T03:36:00.000+08:00

Time flies real fast these days and i wished that it will wind slower. Used to pray for it to wind faster when i was in HP back then. That was the times when i wished i could go home asap.

I did not end up being a tai-tai afterall. got a job so fast and without realising, it's been a month in the team. How i wished i could just spend more time with my little gyrl. It seems to break my heart to be unable to spend much time with her.

Her first birthday was simple.. no stress at all.(will update next time)

I'm feeling a tinge of missing parenting with my commitment to work.I cherished my mornings watching her sleep and holding her for her comfort. But it's not everyday that i get to do it now. The gyrl wakes up early sometimes.. and then swept away by the grandparents.... sigh how i wish i had that leisure time they have everyday and still earn as much as i do now...

Weekends are burnt either to the other side of grandparent.. so another giveway love. half a century later, would i be the same as them? yearning for love of my grandchild? Maybe i would. But at least i know their love is unconditional and i do not have to worry about the gyrl's safety. The least spoil they can do is loving her too much.

Balqis have really captivated alot of love from family and friends..I'm so proud to have her. Her latest progress was two days back when she finally 'ta-teh'-ed by herself by more tha 3 steps!I'm glad i did not miss that.Otherwise i have myself to blame!

Work. I need to stop being a workaholic. I have a great boss and a great director. A great team so far and i hope i can grow in the team like i did when i was in HP eventhough the current team is small. The time travels real fast down there.. before i know it, it's 5.30 an time to go.. I thnk i can put on weight there.. there's tea break soetimes of muffins, traditional cakes and horlicks! my fav!

My resoltuion to this new workplace;to be able to juggle time, BE HOME ONTIME!!! and at the same time not miss parenthood like i used to..

oh ya and we're praying hard for our new house.. ballot number so far and units, SO LITTLE!..so unrealistic but insyaallah we hope our prayers are answered! amiiiin....

jealousy

2008-04-08T20:05:00.000+08:00

The dad is jealous that lately i have only time for the laptop and Balqis.. and of coz work.. kehehe.. hubby.. hubby.. we have not ten but one child, sayang! ok lah i gtg before he merajuks again like the past few days.. i wish i can blog more.. but next time jer lah... of lah i love him kan..

The backdate action of mischief..20 jan 08

2008-04-01T20:40:00.000+08:00

I am not sure how to control her hyper-activeness.. but my hyper active gyrl has always something up her sleeve.. a back date caught in the act which she did and we managed to catch her red-handed...snapped her doing this:-

well..she still practises it now.. and much more faster and can even laugh on. I hope she does not practise this in public! Jatuh harga!

First Touch

2008-04-01T20:15:00.000+08:00

Hubby had to work last sunday and I was so keen to do marketing becoz most of her stuff are depleting. One box of diapers left, wet tissues, one bottle of baby bath left, and felt the urge to buy her laundry soap ..dunno why. Plus the gyrl was a little unwell thus the hesitation.

with a pair of hands i was afraid by then i will only finish clearing the house by late afternoon as the gyrl loves to cling on me when i'm home.and i will be too lazy to go out.

It was a rare occasion since she was born, that she would let me sleep till 9plus AM and she was playing by herself while waiting for me to wake up. Of coz i was up ard 8-ish. Some how the hormones in me usually triggered me when the gyrl is up and awake. Of coz i played sleeping becoz if she knows i was watching she will be much hyper and wouldn't want to lay back to her obedient, independent self. I hugged her and let her play with her own finger, mumbling and coo-ing by herself while i sneaked myself to catch some rest.

Well i sure wouldn't want to be too selfish for myself. forced myself out of bed around half past 9 and feed her breakfast, at the same time make her bed. Placed her in walker and quickly hang the clothes from the washing machine,cleared the stack of clothes to be machine washed, clean the house while she chatters on and mop the house and quickly clean her up before she get agitated and then i also managed to bring in and clear the clothes to be machined-wash.

Called mom up and she said she'll be doing marketing at West coast. so why not might as well i join her. Asked bro along and he quickly agreed.

I was all ready and waiting for zohor prayers when the lil gyrl started to puke out.. Grhh~~~ Had to wash her up and myself, i was covered with part of her remaining vomit. Luckily my youngest bro was around. But unfortunately, he is bad at handling change of diapers etc. How bad.. is he? errh NEVER CHANGE DIAPER BEFORE!

He willingly volunteered. At first i was skeptical but then again i believe he could get a chance of experience here with his lil niece for his future and furthermore takkan lah tak prasan how balqis wears her diapers everyday kan. So i entrusted him to put on diapers and rompers for the niece.

a minute after the handover, (i was in toilet,)He politely enquired,"Yang biru nyer tag ni kat blakang eh?"

Nampak sah tak tahukan!
So i had to loudly reply," itu kat depan"

Alhamdulillah it went ok no screeching or temper tantrums from the baby. in fact she went to sleep straight after the uncle changed her.

well i was thankful and relieved he could help around. but when Balqis woke up, i couldn't help but giggle .. here is what happened:

HAIZ..luckily we have not stepped out of the house yet and i did a spot check.. if not.. PAISEI lar, pple may think the mom dunno how to wear rompers for her kid! the front was at the back and the back in front!!!!.. pak cu pak cu.. you need more lessons man. hehe

a dosage of sleeping pills please.

2008-03-21T23:52:00.000+08:00

I get so tired and worried that i think i worry about sleeping and not waking up on time.

We're going picnic today and i have to be at the void desk at 7.30AM and i am stilll not blinking one eye!..OOOH oh. i hope i dun get migranes later on.

Arrrgghhhhhh

years back

2008-03-21T23:50:00.000+08:00

i so love this pic of us. we were starving earlier before this picture was taken, getting a seat to eat..and after dinner we managed to snap half of love. "ve"

Service expiry

2008-03-18T16:34:00.000+08:00

It was back in 2006 i was so hard on to leave the 24-hr shift i desperately found myself this company. I remember working hard. To prove that i am valuable. Eager to learn and catch up fast. Two months later i managed to adapt but i see so many faces leaving for greener pastures or new faces coming in to replace my eagerness..

months passed. I was still struggling. I was struggling to be perfect. Was there such a word as perfect? Everyday i struggled to perform and do my best. My best paid off in november 07. I reached the prime where everything i do know,was at the tip of my fingers. Archives issue was at the back of my head. i can multitask and guide the user. I shone in dec 07 and beginning of 08. It was dwelling to work but in front i put on a brave face. Big shots came and congratulated me in the midst of my busy work. Little did the customer or my superior understand my crying self. No. Few knew that behind that cheery voice, my little heart was crying for space. understanding users. crying for help because i was trying so hard and coping with manpower crisis. t was always to cover shifts every other day i was supposed to go home early. Onsites who were blunt and ignorant. I tried to spite them but my nature couldn't. My little dear girl inside me was hanging on to her life. I knew i was endangering her with my stressed out job. I was a selfish mom back then. i knew but i could do nothing. I could do nothing. I just know i need to work so i could help hubby. I was crying so much at home in that small Little room i shared with hubby. before i came to work.. I always felt morning sickness ..so sick. Plus the torturous lion who never knew behind my call master i was not smitten but sad to have colleagues like her. Who do not understand our crisis. My hubby hanged on to my whine. sometimes i think he could just gimme a tight slap for it but he did not. he was composed. he was there to hug me and love me. HE never asked for much but he yearn for happiness in my eyes.

It paid off .. maternity was bliss although i was slightly disturbed that being overwork and suddenly at home. came back from work with fresh new people and then there were new tasks to take up and new roles. I started again doing the same old thing. To be perfect. TO be the best. Hard work after hard work. i felt that i could not finish all the things but i know i tried my very best. This time my hard wary value was AVERAGE. It was disappointing but i tried my best again and yes i still do cry about work. As if i was bullied but no.. it's the only way i know that prevents me from carrying the baggage of work home. AT the very least it's work that i seldom bring home but only the stress.

Its now time for me to hit the rocky road again. The contract ends end of the month but i'll be bowing out next week after subtracting my leave and not renewing. What i will miss:

being able to help my team in need. I have been their walking dictionary. all 9 acct.
Fighting for our SLA to be blinking green. Yes to like the rosak traffic light. amber and red light appearing.
the bitching of work but i will say i love this job when i update the information quickly(which i did not do this past month due to my busy schedule) i used to love the times when i race myself to update the intranet!
Yes my spacious own desk. 2 system. slow also never mind. i can still work with it
My lunch with my bro which we seldom do at home or when we were schooling together..

I was glad that this new batch did not experience the disaster i did.. disaster was good for me though. It taught me things inter personally that was not taught in classrooms. Think out of the box and learning to cope. but i hope with me exit. They will not experience what i did.

In Customer service, especially providing first hand quality and showing to the customer we care do they know? AT the end of the day a happy customer made me happy and perfect was never a word i can use to measure my leaning journey here. Its thanks to my superior that i persevered and work hard to give the best everyday.. I hope i can have this much drive when i start my work place somewhere else.. otherwise housewife? can i cope with rising cost in Singapore.. and my huge expenses......my shopping for my lil gyrl and of coz for the dream house. I hope Allah shows me my path with my prayers. Insyallah

I so gonna miss this fast paced environment. this cubicle and the free Internet flow and msn-free environment at work(as long as i dun take advantage of which i did for my time here.

Fast Ferbruary

2008-03-08T22:06:00.000+08:00

The shortest Month of the year but lotsa things happened.

Lost of a great friend's love one
caught up with my 'lil sis' which i tot i had lost
i did my first online shopping for Balqis's clothes. I was super excited and the post reached me.. just after CNy the clothes just as it is. Superb! Nearly shopped for old navy since i found my long lost vpost card.Unfortunatley i realised i did not activated it..and needs to call Singpost.hubby is more pleased coz he is worried i shop till i drop.bargains here there..my eyes can pop!hmmmmzz maybe wait for bonus heeheehee..
Caught fireworks with the friends i treasure so much..and was glad we did catch up since time was available. Balqis got a cutie dress from aunt echa which we were so in love with.. we wore it on her he next day we went out! Thanks sheda!
well we were glad shopping was a breeze during CNY. Mak buyong cuzzie and baby aida,mamadik, mom, balqis, and me were at marina.and savoured more clothes for her.AGAIN.wat to do only child :P
The Baby was not well. she cried late nights with hubby and me becoming chambermaids TWO nights in a row! she vomitted on our bed. no sleep for both of us..HUbby was a very fine daddy hugging her in place when i washed the stains late at night. I caught her bug when she was ok and became sick again but still went to work since the team was short of agents. :( she became sick becoz teeth coming out la..
then week after, younger bro got a small perjanjian and than turned out to be a small engagement instead.. since he bought so many things to give to my future SIL.Started my worknon stop on tuesday night till friday. did patches to my ol hantaran dulangs and made changes a bit. so imagine my zombie eyes dat day..Of course there were a trail of last minute calling2 to our uncles, becoz we love our big family so much, he felt guilt creeping in his already excited and worried mindframe not telling our uncle, aunts and cuzzie who are super cool to be true. Oh he got some sleep while i was awake whole of thursnight.. grrh... Thatday turned out to be so keco..and we nearly got into an accident or maybe killed someone but alhamdulillah everything was alright. Youngest bro turn coming up(counting and counting,....hour /mins/months/years.still a big secret i need to keep for now.. 2 SIL ...Family expansion means more friend for balqis in years to come.. yeay!
The wait for Cuzzie's second junior is NOT YET over.. she was so hoping for baby to see the world in Feb but i anticipate baby coming out on my biirthday hehe..
The same day hubby got his results to his exams, which was not bad, We got our long awaited news on the SOE tender. We lost our tender to EDS. job uncertainty for me eventhough mgmt and hubby told me not to worry..how not to ..?sigh..
We did started our house hunting early feb. Fell in love with it the moment we were welcomed in. We nearly clinched a house we loved so much only to fall back minutes before we signed the papers..5 K of cash, we said,"OK." another 35 K of cash, at the end of 6 months.Hubby and me looked at each other. Hubby GULPED. WHERE GOT MONEY face were on our face..WE need to renovate that house and STILL PAY 35K CASH! The house was above evaluation and we did not know we can't use CPF. sigh. There goes our dream home.
Visit from a distanced pal from Indonesia came with her hubby and her lil girl. Hubby and I played tourist guide role on the end of february. We met 11 yrs ago, and kept in touch by post mail, then we got lost in our own life. We found each other in Friendster.com. If Balqis and Cayla, her elder daughter(12 months 10days today) were to still keep in touch with each other..It will be a generation of 3 friendship. Her late dad was a great man. A great buddy to my dad and a superb host to our family when we visited Indonesia 11 years back. Everytime dad visited him and viceversa, Her dad cracks my dad up, which u seldom see my old man laugh if you personally know him. He is so selective of his friends. All in all the four days was well spend with them.. Oh and i got unwell again when they left last tuesday.

to date:

Baby Balqis:

Has 4 halfgrown teeth which she loves to show off to passer by..two more rooting out
Thanks to Cayla, she has shown her character to be a gd sis. She was so excited having Cayla around.
She's up to more mischief now
She can baby talk a lot.. LOT plenty..many
She likes only new toys..headache for me
She is selective of Strangers
loves grandpa so much la..(grandpa said,"If i don't spoil her, who is gona spoil her then?")/more headached for me..
She can fly kiss
She loves music
Loves my singing eventhough sis said it's atrocious
climbs and still haven't walk without help yet
I have to stop shopping for her since the wardrobe is already full to the max.

I love her growing ups in February eventhough its short. On top of it, February was a challenging month.
House hunting is gonna be delayed until we can save some more AGAIN.. Just need some positive breaks for this month insyalllah. We can just Pray Allah instill us patience and at least we are happy at things going His way.

God loves her

2008-02-13T22:01:00.000+08:00

We were waiting, anticipating the baby come this end of Feb.

We never thought and possibly do not want to think of anything that might have happen to the baby. Balqis's first few months of her clothes and baby wraps, mitten and socks, have been passed down and i could not wait for the mummy to don her baby..

Maybe marriage did drifted us apart once but we were glad we met up once a while to catch up with our lives.

I loved her till i treated her like my own flesh and the sms she wrote that day sent shivers down my spine.

My condolence-Innalillahiwainnailairoji'un to her baby girl. Dr pronounced her beautiful baby girl dead. with no heart beat during her last check up. The second miscarriage for her. The baby has been removed last week and she's fine now and coping. Knowing her as strong-willed. I know she will be fine. AND i hope and pray that she will be fine and alright.

Insyallah Allah will bless her baby and her, exchange her lost with a better rezki. Insyallah maybe the next baby will be ok.And i hope to meet her more... maybe on mondays and thursdays.. just like we always did when we were young and hyped up.I so miss those days.

God loves her

2008-02-13T21:47:00.000+08:00

updates

2008-01-15T12:08:00.000+08:00

I just realised that my last post was hanging on updates of my dear lil girl.

She's grown into a very determined lil girl.
She has bruised her forehead twice, due to her persistent/insistent drive to stand up by herself.
She grabs anything she can hold on to to stand and feel high
She shows off her two front bottom teeth when she grins widely.
She gets esctatic and hyper when she sees her Pak cu and me and especially her atok at sight
She touches her shadow, runs around the edge of it and bumps her head and laughs,or sleeps
She can stand on her two feet now, moving with the help of any chairs tables wahtnots, whatever goes her way. She walks two me around the living room table and laughs.
She cries at the sight of me going to work.
She climbs..her dinner chair.
She loves to tower the fan.

She hugs her atok, kisses her nenek.
She baby-talked to her pak anjang.

She has thousands of photos that Mommy and daddy need to wash.. I hope my love have not made her a Spoilt girl.

The visit two the Dr was going very well. Her hearing test done, perfecto. She waves the nurse gd-bye when we left the clinic.

9 months have passed since the labour and i guessed the pain has healed. It has been a blessing Balqis lits up the life of my family.

Sis could not have been happier.
My bros could not stop kissing and hugging her and carrying her.

WE cant get enuff of her.

Well i have this itchy tendency to reveal that ther will be WEDDING BELLS in the family .. but i will disclose it WITH PERMISSION FROM yours truly.. Excited i am.. cant wait for the expansion of the Omar and Yusof family!!

OH bro will be back from taiwan soon.. He is too worried that Balqis will forget him haha... He did begged me to show his photo to my daughter so she wun forget him but i have not done so.. oops.

Gosh Hubby spoilt me with his bonus and i sinfully spend the money went on a shopping spree last week at the John Little sale, then off to Raffles to spree Balqis's with clothes from FoxBaby and mine from Dorothy perkins. Nasib tak gi Vivo,Marina or Suntec kalau tak.. GAP confirm kaya!

-The Reunion was splendid.. (to be continued)i need to rush home

another one?

2007-12-23T17:05:00.000+08:00

It was a short visit to the gynae's new office at Raffles on dec 21.. It seems that Balqis's siblings will afterall NOT be a "G" Baby like the sister. The Gynae has moved to Raffles Women's Clinic.

I had almost forgotten about the check up. Kudos to the Raffles great service, they sms-ed me to remind me of the appt, 2 days, earlier..

It was a sigh of relief that hubby's off day fell on my appt day, so I can bring Balqis out to admire sunshine,cars, buildings and people with no worries of juggling with my bag,stroller and my lil dear.

We reached there just in time for the appt scheduled but as usual the wait was a while. I think he would have no time to even stop for a toilet break. one patient after another. Never changed since my visit to his clinic in Gleneagles

The check up was fine it showed that my tummy is clear(except for the non going of FATS. I'm buildng them. Ironic that Breastfeeding is not shoo-ing of it!) Kidneys are gd and he came with a serious talk

no.. it's NOT another one that i came to look for my check up. It was a follow up after my labour....

Dr: So Balqis wun be getting a second sis or bro... anytime now
Dr: so, WHEN second one?
(He sooo sounded like my other family members! )

We aren't against another one, yet. We will be glad and syukur if it comes anyway.. . If it doesn't I am also ok with it. It's just that I feel that I have still not yet nurtured enuff attention to my Lil dear Balqis. She's just 8 mths and her first 2 teeth(came out two in a row!twins teeth i call it!) just came out. we're happy to dote her for now..

OH and we found a discovery of CHEESE fries that rawks!!!u must try them at Bugs banquet from the western food stall. Fries are fillin and the topping of cheese... to the max! yummy!!

Top of that 2007 has been an up and downhill.
Every week days, Balqis spends so little time with me and her dad. So if she has another sibling, can i cope with it? Hubby scooling and working? It has been a love-hate relationship at work. Promoted but i am not sure i can cope with the workload..My work load is like a sea. sometimes stormed by too much pressure . sometimes cools a a breezy windy day. It's consuming a lot of my off-record after work hours and affecting the time spent with lil Balqis..

Hubby acceptance to School was a blessing, alhamdulillah, but i do pity him that he has to cope with work, school and also dedication as an Islam. 4 more years to endure and hopefully by then It'llbe a breeze, insyallah.

We have made up our minds on the location of the house. Hopefully the owner will not back out from selling his house in June this year. I am Super xcited!! The room we survived is taking its toll now. Balqs's Cot and hubby's study corner is smacked at 2 different corners of the living room(sorrydad!) I am so glad that Mum is not complaining. So long i keep it presentable, it'll do. But i am limited to get toys for Balqis though. No TABLES for Balqis for the moment, No horseride or mobile toys for now. Out of bound by mom.NO place to store!

I have been spending so much on the kitchen cups(mostly my collections of Starbucks cups that i realised last dec that i had to store the tumblers flasks and mugs to 4 seperate locations; store under the bed, my cupboard and the luggage bag. On top of that the wardrobe is clustered and fully utilised. I cant hang my Baju kurung now. Its been folded neatly to make space for my work clothes that i need to iron weekly so that i am not late for work, since i can't depend on a bike ride and the taxi fare wil cost 10 bucks!! up from a mere 7 plus!(i am still LATE ..so Pockets are slowly moulding with holess....

The lil Balqis can now stand on her own... She has climbed out of her feeding chair

malas ullstop

2007-12-19T03:11:00.000+08:00

I am starting work at 9 amd i am still at home.8.09am. argH!! i am so lazy to go to work plus it's the eve!!!!!! and mum, she nagged. She felt that i should take leave today. she needs to cook and no one is taking care of Balqis. I hope today the company will nlet mee zoom home after 1. els i'll just clear my time off. bull. off to my shower now. sigh~

Itchy Hands..

2007-12-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

I am still getting used to multiply..

Apologies fro the surge of blog entries. They were imported from my previous blog.. Now i am on a procrastinating whether i made the right option to import all the blogs from my old site.

It has gone gaga.. erm

Rani: I'll still be at the same place. The only difference that I've moved to anotehr seat because the new agents ned to have a patched.

QUick November? oh i had accidentally saved that entry even before i typed and was trying to retrieve it but became a lil dumb. I was not sure how to edit them! ahah soo it became blank. Prior to spending time looking for it, i was agitated.can't be bothered and continued surfing and pushed it aside. I think my fingers were too excited to save DRAFT to prevent the entries from "kabushing" but i got too excited, it became a blank entry. Now i forgot what i was trying to write abt

Ok here's what happened in November that i remembered.
-HUbby birthday;the bintan trip
-Balqis has crawled like a worm but now much faster and slowly crawling. Her 6 mth jab follow up
-She has shown that she loves the Laptop. but has shown signs of boredom with her toys.
-We just brought her walker but she's not that interested. She wants us to be in fornt of her or carrying her 24/7, esp when i am home.
-a small accident encountered by my bro

I bought an early gift for hubby before his bdae since we were in town to search for a new electronic device to replace the non-working one. Ok the device we bought, we were OVERCHARGED.. thanks to the NO survey this time coz hubby thinks we will waste time and i'll back out and not want to buy it and regret then.

Lesson learnt, no mater what must survey, ok hubby!

Then We had a simple celebration with a small lil dome cake frm Prima deli.(alhamdulillah it was was ard nov 5, otherwise we could be the victims of the Food poisoning!)

The itenery we were so liiking forward was nov 10 where we had our bags packed and woke up as early as 5plus AM to get ready for our trip to bintan. Balqis seems to know that she's going to BIntan.. ok she did not even SLEEP till we board the ferry!It was a 3days 2 nights trip.

On reaching Bintan, we went straight to hotel but had to wait for our book in at 2pm. We hoped on a bus(the fare was $6 in SGD!) to Pasar Oleh2(which was quite near!!!I am syukur that the bus fare to bedok would most probably cast me 2.50 when i board an express bus!) and did only half a round of walking in the market and found ourself attracted to a massage package. Balqis was not in favour of the place at first and we had a hard time duing the massage.
After the massage we did a quick shop and headed back to the hotel and checked in. By then we reste for a while and after asar, head to the beach to catch the wind and check on Balqis reaction with the sand and sea.

She was ok from the time we walked to the beach till we let her in the sea with the help of her small buoy. Ater sometime, the waves grew bigger and louder and she panicked. Off we head to the shore while hubby enjiyed his sparse moemnt with the waves and became syiok sendiri when the waves became bigger.

We headed to the pool next and Balqs reacted differently to the pool. SHe was more relaxed. It was like a climate change reaction. She was frantically excited! After some time, we headed back to prepare ourselves for the dinner at the Kelong, at Nirwana Gardens.

Unfortunately, hubby was tired and we cancelled the trip. An accident happened after that which we had to call the resort Doctor to assist us. After 30minutes with the Dr, alhamdulillah everythin went well but he has to do a follow up when he is back in SIngapore(which he has not done yet..because he feared that he may be on long Hospitalisation leave)

Prior to that accident, we decided to have our dinner at the hotel's restuarant...and postponed our kelong trip to the day after.

The next day we woke up a lil late but managed to catch our breakfast. We had actually forgot that Bintan is on the Indonesian waters and the time is an hour late.We did not do much accept to go back to our room and spend more time with Balqis and slept..(Perut dah kenyang...)We so love the big room haha..plus shopping will burn our pockets!!

In the late afternoon we went to the beach again and this tie round only hubby went to sea while Balqis and me stayed on the shore line to enjoy the breeze.
Then we head to the pool again for Balqis. This time we stayed until her diapers went bulky!

The cab waited for use to go to the Kelong. It i remember correctly, the fare was SGD40 for a two way transport(padahal dekat and not like from boonlay to changi and back!) We missed the sunset again.. but the night breeze was chilling. Luckily we had Balqis all covered ,otherwise she may have caught a cold.
DInner was superb.. I think for that night we might have pun on a few kilos! US being the seafood crazy pple, we had quite a spread until we had no time to to picture them but tucked in straight!The trip was ok however we found ourselves silent during the ride tehre and back home. If you could have been there you may have teh same experience. The road was deserted. No jams. No traffic lights. Dim lights or at sometime, no lights. It was only our car or two three cars whizzing from the opposite directions.It was picth dark. Even Balqis was tugging and hanging on tight to HUbby's clothes.

Alot went through my mind during the road journey to Nirwana. I was imagining if pirates were to hijack us, what could have happened to us....

The last day we managed to shop for small items for our house maybe, some clothes for the siblings and and a big bag for myself

Our tots:

the trip has beeen splendid with hiccups a bit. We were dumbstruck by the expensive charge of a COKE can..costing SGD3.50 and SGD5.50 for a bottled soft drink. So u can imagine how much it would cost if it was consuming drinks from the hotel room
We should have asked ard on the currency used.. we changed a lot of rupiah and ended up paying much more. the currency was on SGD dollars!!!!!!
We still had not enuff fun in Bintan and will plan for a next trip there oneday
the next trip we will bring canned foood from Singapore for our lunchand some bottled drinks (hahaa)

Prior to the holiday, My bro met with an accident on late nov. Balqis had her 6 mth jab with her ah kong and nenek tagging along. The bro who left taiwan came back and could not get enuff of Taiwan and will be going off again in January.

off to sleep now. My pump session has ended and its another day at work later.

A Very Quick Nocember

2007-12-01T21:29:00.000+08:00

argh

2007-11-09T22:27:00.000+08:00

I had a super long entry to update and kabush it went when IE hanged. I HAVE STILL NOT LEARNED MY LESSON. This is IT. It can kabush anytime... arghH!H!!! i need to practise what i preach. I always tel my users to save all the time but i don't myself.

nani, PLEAS SAVE AS DRAFT!!!!

my entry was about: work,balqis,hubby's birthday pressie, our outing out of singapore starting this morning to monday evening, balqis first album, my new gadget, and it goes...kabush

Now i'm off to sleep lah so pissed with myself.u may or may not see the updates. NO promises and i have to find yet another time to blog :(

Apologies

2007-10-02T10:02:00.000+08:00

I had not knonw that my tag was out of service... oops until echa pointed out.. so till i fix this issue(which i dunno when) I'll be using the multiply space >>http:nainikz.multiply.com

Thank you

Snaps of her bundled finger

2007-09-26T21:30:00.000+08:00

She cried till she went to sleep

fedup

2007-09-24T14:00:00.000+08:00

I totally detest my work environment. Sick and i hate my users. do u thhink u are some gd scholars? go picture urself in the mirror and think bout how well u think u r. Ugly users. U are just mirror how 'beuatiful' ur agency is. wake up lah.

The lil accident

2007-09-24T13:39:00.002+08:00

Speak of being cautious of my lil girl, i had my first accident with Balqis. Yes u saw it right...
I went mum. Shocked. Numb.and i became a freak.

It was late thursday night and i have been eagerly waiting to trim her fingers as it was growing extremely fast. I remembered trimming it off last sat and I had to sit down with her again to trim off her nails again!

HUbby has switched on both table lamp and the room light. I was praying that i dun clip her skin off.
Balqis being her, she can't sit tight. She moved her hands up and down and while i was abt to clip it, My dear hubby switched of the room light and my finger instantly clipped her 'nail' WHen i lifted the nail clipper, i still see the long nails and to my horror.. blood started to appear.

I cliped off her skin. yea and her reactions: hysterically 2-4 seconds after the click she exhaled a loud hysterical cry. Squirming her eyes until it was blushing red.

SHIT! I felt so shit! thought i saw blood and yeah it oozed so much i became a feak. Luckily hubby was near me he grabbed Balqis and I think I was frantically tossing about.
The blood did not stop bleeding profusely until we put her off to sleep. Luckily my bro was around he was more reaxed to put the bandage for my baby.

It's healing now and alhamdulillah she was fine and tehre was no infection or any fever developed.

The lil accident

2007-09-24T13:39:00.001+08:00

test

breastfeeding blues

2007-09-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

I am proud to breastfeed for my lil balqis but now i'm wondering whether i should just let her breast feed till 6 mths or make it two yrs... expanding means that i will endure the pains of her first teeth numbing on my nipple! ok but on the otherhand i dun foresee me having the heart to pull her away from breast feeding afterall, it's even more nutritious than SIMILAC or S-26 or any other brands available in the market.. However i want to kill AVENT for sucking and pumping my money out!!! grhhh!!!

I bought a single pump of the electric pump for myself since i thought that i might afterall need one myself.. expressing milk at work was NOOT EASY.. must Queue or even book or make sure i came in time, one room and 5-6 other mothers need to express their milk. And what a mistake of getting the single electric pump.. 45 minutes for me to extract boths sides! I sooo regret not reaching for the dual pump and now that my single electric pump is dying on me.. i so want hubby to get me the dual pump but it's gonna be raya soon! sigh..must save noney!!! i guess i have to make do changing it to a manual pump for the time being and wait till end of nov to get a great dual pump and hopefully it stays working for AT LEAST A YEAR not just 3 mths like my avent and worst of all, i was so confident it wun die on me and i THREW AWAY the WARRANTY!!The only good thing bout the pump: It managed to empty abt 8oz of milk.. which is twice the amt of the manual pump!

With fasting mth i hope my supply does not deplete. dah lah pump manual ni slow, it's flow of pumping sucks la.. not much get extracted and it makes me feel engorged.

Balqis is much smarter now dah pandai acting lah.. now she is practising muka sedih lah and makin the ummmm sound. WHen she feeds she does the 'ummmmmmmmm' all the way! ok and she has been getting a lot of 'nah rasa ni, rasa tu' from the atok and nenek and my sis!! spoil my plan of fully fed breast milk till she is 6 mths :( .. much more she's beginning munching and making the chewing moves i was left with no choice and bougt her brown rice and some juices .. sigh
Loads of my friends are popping soon. Now i am worried. I do hope breast feeeding can help family planning,.. i still want baby balqis to have younger siblings but not now lor.. hurhur

27 april 2007

2007-08-31T00:32:00.000+08:00

. The memories fresh even though the wound has healed.

EDD was supposed to be on may 7 but Balqis can't wait to breathe the air outside. Instead,my cousin delivered her baby, diah, on my EDD date when hers was supposed to be on 19 may!For myself, Labour came ten days before my feeling2 to become mommy and i never realised it was gona be sooner than expected.

That Morning,April 27 2007 I have applied for Annual leave and it has already been approved a few days back. I was to go for my weekly check up. Unfortunately a colleague of mine need to take UL since his wife was in Hospital due to a cyst surgery so i volunteeered to cancel my LEAVE and take PM--time off instead.

27 Apr 4.15AM:
I felt a tinge of liquid coming out from my cervix while in deep sleep. it felt like a dream, like i need to relieve myself. Thank allah i woke up in time! Fearing of waterbag burst or wetting my bed with pee, I woke myself up. Before going to the bathroom, I sms-ed my colleague to confirm that I'm taking his shift and working till 1PM today. Getting up from the bed was a killler. I had difficulty walking.In the bathroom, i sleepily emptied myself. I became wide awake by the sight of Blood. I was hoping that it was a false alarm.There were pains coming and going from the abdomen. After cleaning myself up, i went to my room, double confirmed all my stuff is in my hospital bag and woke my hubby to get prepared that maybe i might deliver lil Qish.
Hubby thinks that it may just be a false alarm. My parents thought so too so all of them except me, went back to sleep. I was too worried, angry at myself that i'm too heavy to toss and turn,forcing myself to sleep. In the end i gave up, Switched on the table lamp, and took out my PSP instead to keep my worries away. It did not help much though i felt like astabs on my tummy but it comes an goes. Was it contractions? i was not even sure. So i ignored them.

5.45AM:
I started having Pains again. It came and go and it was very mild. Consulted my parents and they advised me to wait. Considering the pain i went through, i decided to call my TL and my colleague to inform them that i may afterall not come to work this very morning.

6.30AM:
I was unsure if the pains were contractions. I merely counted the cycle coz acccording to the baby books i read, contractions comes in and goes regularly when delivery time is near. Furthermore, i have never had stomach cramps during my teenage years. So there was a lot of doubt on how contractions really felt.The number of pains kept coming but the pain was irregular and i was not sure if i may labour that day since EDD is ten days away. Plus i so wanted a late preggie maybe on may 19 or 18. 19 will fall on my late-aunt's birthday and 18 will be my bro's.

7.30AM:
The pain became more regular and i decided that maybe we should head to the clinic and check if i will be labouring today. well since the package has been paid for and consultation is free, i might as well let the gynae check me up. My hubby applied for UL. My parents and us got ourselves ready to the doctor's. Mom prepared me two half boiled eggs.. which i had a hard time swallowing.

8.45 AM:
On the way there, we called the Dr's emergency line to inform him that i'm having bleedings and pains. He advised me to report to the CLinic and i acknowledged.

9.00AM:
We reached Gleneagles and i was given the normal test, blood pressure, weight and urine tests in Dr Chow's Clinic. It was just two days ago that i had my check ups with the gynae, and he mentioned that it may be on this wek or early next week that Baby will be due. The urine test was a killer.. org dah lah sakit2 nak kena bend and take the urine test lagi..so troublesome!

9.15AM:
I was placed in one of the clinic's room to check my Contractions. For half hour they monitored, the nurse kept coming in to check on me every now and then. The contractions were regular and the nurse explained that my contractions are reular.She felt that my labour will be soon. Dr Chow came around ten AM.The cervix has opened 2 cm. He advisd me to ward myself to the hospital and verified that my delivery could be some time in the late afternoon.

10.40AM:
By this time i was feeling weak. I felt like hugging my knees and ball myself up. But of course i couldn't! I had to walk my way to the receptionist and walking there was painful. Plus i was bleeding badly. I managed to stop by their supermart and grabbed more maternity pads and disposable panties as well as shopping last minute for my baby's tauge head pillow! i sure got reprimanded from Hedir haha! THen my parents and him had their breakfast before admitting me in. I could not swallow anything. I felt like throwing up. Ard 11. AM I was wheeled to the First labour ward, while my hubby settled the check in. A friendly nurse took down my details an verified my information. Her qns were never ending i knew i was growing restless. There were several trips to the ladies.. how not, once i changed my clothes to their pyjamas, i ahd to go in again for urine test again. then they asked me to go again to save urine. Then she put me on the same machine that Dr Chow had in his clinic to check my contractions. They checked my data and placed some liquid in my anus so that in 5 minutes i will pass everything out. with that medication, i had to wobble my way twice to the rest room. tak faham langsung sey dorang ni orang dah cakap orang tajk larat nak jalan pun terpaksa... I rested and Dr chow came out to explain more of the pain reliefs and the availibility of Epidurals and entonox and the jabs at my thighs..to keep me civilised. I was the first mummy wheeled on that 4 bedded labour room.
By 12noon, all the beds were occupied and were on the contraction machine. I was annoyed with the contracion beeps from the oppposite neighbours and i was a real cranky wifey. I conplaint and there were so much anger boiling due to the noise and the pain was excruciating.
I couldn't let my hubby out of sight. Once he went out to update my status to the family my anger rose up.I was cranky cranky.One minute i'll be laughing, the next in pain and trying to ball myself up, the next minute, i'll be sleepy and laughing, and another minute in silent mode. I counted the time, rest and laughed and fell asleep as i was real tired plus.Sleeping only absordbed 30% of the pain.

1:00PM :
. I started to get more pains and it was longer. i was merely crying myself out. I was hating myself. Unbearable pain really. Even Hedir's presence could not console me. Dr checked my cervix and advised that it is dilating. i could feel that i could not walk. He asked for my consent to burst the waterbag.. oh my gosh.. it felt like i was peeing!!!!and i could not sto the water from coming out.SOmetimes,, there were even feels of blood blooping out but i was not even sure.

1:30PM:
I cried and cried continuously and then DR Chow came in back again and confirmed with me if i want Entonox for pain relief, or the epidural. I gave myself up and told him that i need the entonox. I was placed on the gas

2.00PM:
I was warned not to breath too much of it otherwise i will have a hard time on labour. It felt like ages but after breathing the gas, On/off i felt the pain and also went to sleep. The sleep was probably one/two minutes but it felt like ages. . but.. i was damn stupid. hahah i din know how to breathe properly!!!!!.. 80% of the time i did not inhale the ENtonox properly thus i had to bear the pain so much and cursed the gas as uneffective wahahaha.. !!I So that half hour was painful. Dr Chow came again half hour later and checked my cervix. It was 5-6 cm now. He advised the nurses to bring me to the labour ward. Imagine moving yourself when you feel that something is coming out from your tummy, mixed with stomach cramps and in pain. i nearly fell when i accidentally slipped. Luckily hubby was there to helpme. The Nurse then wheeled me to the labour ward.
During the transportation, i felt weak. I wished standing up or sitting could lessen my pain but it was the same no matter how i rest my position. i could just slump myself and cried endlessly. Plus, entonox was stopped.Thinking back i was so like a kid who just cried and cried when he could not get his lil new truck. The labour room was much more bigger and comforting and i knew that was it. I'll be a mummy soon. i may deliver anytime now. There was a huge digotal clock mpuntedon the wall. The labour bad was smacked in the middle. The pain was the same no matter how i rest my position. i could just slump myself and cried endlessly. Thinking back i was so like a kid who just cried not getting his lil new truck.

3.15PM:
I grew hysterical. The labour room's entonox was working. I would doze on and off and i got the hang of using the gas. I became high until i had no strength to even mouth it properly.I knew i was screaming so loudly and crying badly that i thought about how mom felt when having me and my siblings..ok that really made me even more tearful

3.30PM:
I could not take it anymore, then i felt like i need to pee and i remember screaming my lungs out bearing the pain with the entonox at work and remembered dozing off soon after i screamed and slept after screaming and got awoken by the sudden numbness of pain and screamed and cried badly that it' s painful.I want to roll myself like a ball but i can't move a limb. I felt imprisoned by the effects of entonox. It was a cycle.scream. sleep. cry. scream. cry. sleep. cry. sleep. scream in my sleep.
HUbby was steadily relaxing and SLEEPING ON A MASSAGE CHAIR IN THE LABOURWARD FOR THE DADDY!!! he has dozed off while watching tv. HE slept while i scream until i had no strength to scream.. i wished i could just jolt him but i couldn't. He was only awoken by the nurse when i told the nurse to wake him up.Then the phone kept ringing on his side and he had to go in and out of the waRd. i was pissed i want him to be by my side(so mom to be..PLS OFF UR HUBBY's HP when in labour) coming in AND OUT ..
And i remembered i prayed hard that it would end soon. I spoke nicely to the nurse, while in tears that Balqis wants to come out now. I feel like i need to pass motion but i can't and I kept telling her that i think she's coming out, then i felt like i need to pee again and pass motion and it came alternately and sometimes i felt like doing both. the only word that came out from the nurse was,"you want to pee, pee lah, want to berak also can,.. just pee lah i can help clean you up. YOu pee how many times also i still clean you up wan. i wun mind. berak also i clean" gosh! i clung on to Hedir and even swiped his jacket tightly. and repetitively exclaimed that Balqis wants to come out of my womb... he just nod...yes JUST NOD!!!! and I HAD TO REMIND HIM TO TELL THE NURSE BUT HE JUST NOD i screamed at the nurse crying and exclaiming that it's painful and i need to pass motion but i can't. i told the nurse to call the dr and instead she just checked my cervix.she asked me to relax and just pee.yes i pee-ed ok..*blush* and i even can remind her that i will pee at that time. of coz she cleaned it without any complains. she told me not to worry and told me that if i need to pee again she will clean me up again same if i want to pass motion.
Holding the mask to breathe the entonox was by then, a challenge. I had to get Hedir to place it on and take it off ater a few counts, I could only reply to the voices. There were several ocassions when i had to search in vain for the mask to be placed on my nose/mouth instead... i just felt it searching around my face. With the pain plus no entonox, i pulled some strength, trying to glimpse around the room for the sight of Dr chow. Instead i saw the nurse moving swftly around the room. By Instinct, i knew it's time but Dr CHow was still not in sight.. Well iwhen i turned to my hubby on my right side, i saw hubby, SLEEPING WHILE STANDING!!! no wonder the entonox mask was all ard my face!!!!!!!!!i did the grab and pull his jacket and cried again!oh i shocked him but it was only a while.. he dozed again for a while though. By then i had remembered my friend's advisee not to take too much of the gas as i may have difficulty pushing. so lucky hubby i was not 100% on anger. Plus HUbby was merely saved by Dr CHow.. he finally came and said ok we're set and ready to deliver yourbaby and that woke my hubby up.
Of course we were excited and i have been so overcomed with entonox that fear, pain, excitement,eagerness became tears. Suddenly reality struck me. there were a lot of thoughts already running. How will she look like or how well she is were all far behind me. The thing i was thinking about was how to push! of course the dr told me the instruction and all but i myself was not sure whether i heard him well and if i will do it correctly. I was told to be in position(dunno how to describe lah) and ya the process went on .. i gripped my hubby's hand, breathe,breathe,breathe,breathe and after the first push, POP!I heard my baby cry!well the berak feeling sure went away!! i felt light and i dunno why but i was in tears there were cold sweat running down. I can freshly remember how i started to cry because i am now mom, masyaallah, i have been blessed with a sweet beautiful baby girl, and I was crying and praying she will be healthy. I was crying because my AUnt did not get to see her. She has been the most enthusiastic aunt to receive Balqis but departed in february. I was crying because i experienced motherhood. labour. Never easy.
well after labour u may think that it's all over non-mom .. still one more oush for the placenta, and then its over. Fortunately alhamdulillah it was just one push after a few breath.

I would say that i had been a very happy mummy alhamdulillah my laabour was not till night and Blaqis has been a blessing today, everyday and the days to come.
She's my light to our happiness.Our love to the years
to come. Insyallah our future to seek what's ahead and our motivator to lead her to the path ahead. Mummy and daddy has promised to shield you and protect you from upbringing you wrongly and insyallah we will provide you with as much teachings of duniawi and ukhori

I would have loved her date to be on may 19 (it was my late aunt's bday date) or may 18, her pak cu's birthday(which he was solely praying my baby's birthday would fall on his birthday)but to the extent, i was glad the labout was smooth. no epidurals though balqis cam out big(3.655kg! thanks to ANmum milk). It was also her birth that i found out her tok anjang will be sharing his birthday celebration with balqis in th eyears to come!We are just so glad that she chose to come out on a nice comforting friday ewvening, with presence of her mom and dad, and the mid wife and of course my Dr chow

i sempat msg my members that i swore to update oh and i felt that they have subscribed to me heheh it was like spore idol voting for Balqis there were so many replies that i felt tired sms-ing than feeling the tiredness of post labour!

Mom feedbacked that she could hear me scream from outside the maternity ward. pls i had te last ward from the door..she was at the lift and could hear me whine and scream and cry.. so imagine my pain tsk tsk.. i felt so like alil kid!malu nyer! Next baby, i must bring something to bite to refrain my screaming! my next labour i will ask my hubby to TURN OFF HIS HP and mine... ahhaha becioz i was darn irritate that he was receiving so many calls to pick from mine and his! duing the labour!

366

2007-08-06T12:47:00.000+08:00

Dear Balqis,
It has been a a great 365 days sharing the small room at Atok's house and sleeping with Papa everyday. Be it at your Papa's mom's place or your atok's house.

How time has flown.. and we are now counting down to your birthday instead of our next anniversary. For the first time ur Papa made the effort to remember our important day.

He has been the best person sharing momy's cranky, silly, mood, mummy's giggle and has never a bit complained if mommy snores or drool(which i hope not). He has been the most patient man next to ur atok. Let's pray that daddy decides to be a big house for me an you so that we can paint the walls of your room, decorate your rooms with more toys. and mummy can have her own kitchen to cook and bake cakes for Papa and u

We apologise for not getting you too much toys and we've stopped buying you more clothes now... tehr's not much space left for our tiny weeny room.. mummy cannot possibly manifest your aatok's hall with your toys! we will either complain and nag that we are wasting a lot of money on this and that, we will not like the sight of too much stuff at home dear.

Nevertheless, We thank Allah for you are the greatest present to us. It can never be matched with anything in this world. We love you lots, superbaby.

surprise surprise..

2007-08-01T12:53:00.000+08:00

Never mind bout my labour experience... it's still not completed..haha but just this short notice..

i can't wait for sept 1!!!! weeeee!!!!!!! :)
I'm going to be an aunt for another baby... coming 2008 ..wwaaaaaaa my lil Balqis will be a sis then!! so fast!!!!
Baby Balqis is so cute and lovely getting more and more adorable.. like mummy and daddy ..lols she turns herself now and i love her chuckle upon seeing me!

alright i'm back to work... and boy i'm more stressed than ever. more challenges now.. but we'll see how it goes. and i fail to keep my promise to post my labour experience.. oops.

lunch over. toodles.

lousy Saturday

2007-06-30T09:06:00.000+08:00

hi once again... my delivery experience will be up in my blog soon... hahah insyallah before i start worklah.WHEN? very soon.. how time flies \. two months... i tot i had lotsa time with the laptop and will have enuff time to blog but i got pre occupied with Balqis.

Balqis is growin fast now and
i bet she'll have the best love of all.. showered with sooo much loovE! i'll update the haps and why she's bein loved so much soon.. before i sway my tots today...

i hate SATURDAYS where my darl hubby has to work on the weekends... grrrhhhh and more dreading when I HAVE A WEDDING TO ATTEND AND UNFORTUNATELY THE PEOPLE I KNOE WHO KNOWS THE BRIDE/GROOM are mostly uninvited.. No kakis!!!! i feel like smacking my forehead is not enufff... and the "best" part is.... it's at the most eastern part of SingAPORE.. and the most unfortunate thing is... i tot of killing 2 birds with one stone, meeting my ladies who resides there but then again she's workin..sigh. next time maybe

well i guess Balqis will be travellin with mom then snd off to her paternal grandparents after that maybe mummy spend time with daddy do grocery shoppin and baby shop at west mall

my consecutive blogging

2007-04-19T12:54:00.000+08:00

I think it must have been my exitement to run away from work that i keep on blogging. Whoa third str8 days after so long of disappearance and busy as a bee when i am online at work!

It's been an anxious wait i'm not even sure if i should feel anxious with 2 weeks plus to reach the 40 weeks, it may and could even stretch to the latter. The signs og pain is there bt i ain't even sure if it was the contractions or what they called it Braxton hicks.
being my first sure i had funny and queasy feeling of my Apple Pie. When it was the first time Apple Pie move, i was not even sure and i tot it was just the umpbilical cord movement or my tummy hungry. Until much later i realised it was my apple pie.

I also did realised that i became so camera shy.. i have no photos of ME of my progress in my bulging tummy. Maybe i became camera shy and i was afraid to look at how plump i grew and how horrible it is to see me walk.. Macam Barney.Sampai camera dah rosak pun :(. Even my lil nephew,Akyash. mimic my walk, ok. And giggled. tehn he will deny of any baby in his tummy. He's so in love with my tummy with his chants of "baby! baby! and poking his lil nosy finger endlessly when he remembered Apple Pie's existance when he sat with me.
Oshie is getting restless hearing to my answer when she questioned,"Bila baby nak kluar.." every week when we meet. My repeated answer of, "nanti dia klaur lah..lagi kejap lagi" is disappointing her.

Maybe tonight i should make full use of my Hubby's digi since it's been left to dust. Take picture of my swollen feet and the bulging tummy and my plump face la.. moans*

words of "motivation".. "inspiration"

2007-04-18T12:28:00.000+08:00

When i walked in the office today..I did not realise some changes that came until i was bout to exit the office and saw that there were three notices smacked at the gantry before i leave the office.

All three notices were 'inspirational' words accompanied by comic strips:

- you do not have to work hard all the time if you work smart
-The grasss is not always greener on the other side: FOCUS ON WHAT YOU HAVE NOT WHAT YOU DON'T
-Technology is an enabler and does not resolve everything: YOU ARE IRREPLACEABLE

hmm.. for you to ponder. The second remark reminded me the song from TRAVIS, Side, one of my favourites however it has the opposite meaning. Below are the lyrics to my lovely travis song i onced felll in love with when i was in my poly days:

Travis - Side

===================================

Well I believe there's
Someone watching over you
They're watching
Every single thing you say
And when you die
They'll set you down
And take you through
You'll realise one day

That the grass is always
Greener on the other side
The neighbour's got a new car
That you wanna drive
And when time is running out
You wanna stay alive

We all live under the same sky
We all will live, we all will die
There is no wrong,
There is no right
The circle only has one side

We all try hard to live
Our lives in harmony
For fear of falling swiftly overboard
But life is both a major and minor key
Just open up the chord

But the grass is always
Greener on the other side
The neighbour's got a new car
That you wanna drive
And when time is running out
You wanna stay alive

We all live under the same sky
We all will live, we all will die
There is no wrong,
There is no right
The circle only has one side, side, side

something to ponder...

2007-04-18T12:24:00.000+08:00

WHY EMPLOYEES LEAVE ORGANISATIONS ? - Azim Premji, CEO- Wipro

Every company faces the problem of people leaving the company for better pay or profile.

Early this year, Mark, a senior software designer, got an offer from a prestigious international firm to work in its India operations developing specialized software. He was thrilled by the offer.

He had heard a lot about the CEO. The salary was great. The company had all the right systems in place employee-friendly human resources (HR) policies, a spanking new office,and the very best technology,even a canteen that served superb food.

Twice Mark was sent abroad for training. "My learning curve is the sharpest it's ever been," he said soon after he joined.

Last week, less than eight months after he joined, Mark walked out of the job.

Why did this talented employee leave ?

Arun quit for the same reason that drives many good people away.

The answer lies in one of the largest studies undertaken by the Gallup Organization. The study surveyed over a million employees and 80,000 managers and was published in a book called "First Break All The Rules". It came up with this surprising finding:

If you're losing good people, look to their immediate boss. Immediate boss is the reason people stay and thrive in an organization. And he 's the reason why people leave. When people leave they take knowledge,experience and contacts with them, straight to the competition.

"People leave managers not companies," write the authors Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman.

Mostly manager drives people away?

HR experts say that of all the abuses, employees find humiliation the most intolerable. The first time, an employee may not leave,but a thought has been planted. The second time, that thought gets strengthened. The third time, he looks for another job.

When people cannot retort openly in anger, they do so by passive aggression. By digging their heels in and slowing down. By doing only what they are told to do and no more. By omitting to give the boss crucial information. Dev says: "If you work for a jerk, you basically want to get him into trouble. You don 't have your heart and soul in the job."

Different managers can stress out employees in different ways - by being too controlling, too suspicious,too pushy, too critical, but they forget that workers are not fixed assets, they are free agents. When this goes on too long, an employee will quit - often over a trivial issue.

Talented men leave. Dead wood doesn't.

"Jack Welch of GE once said. A company's value lies "between the ears of its employees".

feeling2 mummy

2007-04-17T21:55:00.000+08:00

So much have been going on for past of alomost 9 months after marriage life. It has been full of ups and downs with stress of work and time management.. ya i am still sore bout my digicam gone waste... but i can't stop but share my experience which was my initial plan of blogging tonight.

My baby is extremely ACTIVe.. bump is all over my tummy and she shakes her asss many times a day. The gynae visit have been weekly and alhamdulillah all was fine. Apple pie is all in place ready to enter the world insyallah. She loves to move when i am at work.. i guess she thought i was talking to her when i was with my customer. She's got lots of things in hand now. More clothes expected to be given to her by her older cuzzie Aida.

Initially during my first trimester, I was informed that my baby is small and i'm losing weight so doctor advised me to eat more. ok eat more then baby came out big after ending of second trimester..grrh ..when he measured the baby's body andThere were scares of me being diabetic due to the sudden raise of weight in me and my baby size.. We got worried and even Dr Chow was worried. he suggested for the OGTT test and alhamdulillah it came out negative. And a checked today showed Apple pie is in the ok range. so a big sigh left me and i've done the swab test today. APple pie is in norm size now and i'm so glad! With the day nearing my appt with him is growing more often,So now it's weekly and every week i wait anxiously for blood stains or my water bag to burst for signs that may trigger my Apple pie to launch. Next week he'll confirm again and gauge the time range my baby may come out.

When Dr Chow is out to deliver babies.. i wait anxiously for my bay to get scanned. The doctor wait is ok unless the gynae s off to the delivery bed. BUt i kill my boredom with chats from the friendly nurses and of coz made friends with the mummy there and when i'm bored, they have a library of baby books to choose from..from massage for baby to the mummy and how to bath the baby and how the baby's placenta looks like and etc.

I do enjoy my visits to the gynae, several times with my Precious and numerous times with my mom, and Dad, managed to see his lil grandchild moving rounding about.. when i was in my second trimester. Every visit was accompanied by the scan photos and i anxiously showed to my hubby when he can't attend the appt. . Of course he will speak to the picture.. which was amusing, at first until i told him he should be speaking with the baby on my tummy. And i enjoyed the nights we washed our legs to sleep. Before the gd nights, he will ngaji for the lil apple pie.. and look after me when i have sleepless sick nights. There were typical cramps and of coz complaints of pain in the middle of the night and my Precious has never complaint of his lack of sleep with me waking him up every time.. even the ocassional trips to the toilet, the hubby has been at best to hug me after i get back to bed. *sweet* Then there were bumpy swollen leg of mine where its bulging and showing like an elephant leg. Butinsyallah these signs are wonders of pregnant moms.

I can't deny that i'm fully afraid of my responsibilities.. months to a wifey and now to a wifey plus mommy, i am still learning to cook contented big breakfast for my Preciuos which so far he is delighted to have especially with the company of me and bro. Then there werre clothes to take care of, and alhamdulillah i'm staying with my mom so i have less load to think of at the moment. Which this will change soon if My precious deciced that three is a crowd in our lil squeezy room.

The room, It's like a warzone full of stuff. mine his and Apple Pie. Things are piling and i'm making effort to either throw my lil memories of childhood i left with me like donating them and not keeping them. Mum say i'm a junker. I supposed she should replace it with a 'Collector' of memories.(i still have my projects from sec school hidden away in the cupboard..terceruk-ceruk tepi so mom wun nag)

Apart from life full of wait, I'll be waiting for baby to come home every tues to thursday where he can only be home after ten..sigh another commitment phase i'll be enduirng for four years..

Time to bed.. seee y'all

lost

2007-04-17T19:46:00.000+08:00

It was days when i thought everything was all fine and going well.,all packed and ready and left with just one thing to pack and go anytime the time comes.. when this presious thing caught me dumb struck. I tested my digicam for a test to get well, all my things up.. guezz what.. the image i took came out bluryyy.. oh i thought it was probably the aperture.. what shit.. reset and still the thing came out dizzy!!!!! i am suuuuu Fu*king PISSED! my bday present baby bought me has swelled up to a useless digi.. great. ALL for passing it around and letting pple use them because they need one to loan..and the last hands denied that it was even used.. i am so pissed at myself. When i need to use it most it just dies.. and the last hand was not even me!! the last i tested was all so fine and working.. but now?? i am so utterly disappointed.

So much for the happiness i had and the excitement. NOW i have to put aside some money to get a new digi! and far most disappointing is mine is much newer than my presious's DIGICAM and it's so going strong and cool and not even spoilt. Great what can i say? no more loaning of the digicam? i say maybe that should solve my anger? i feeel like strangling thelast person who really made me feel so sore that my digi is not alive and kicking. How i wish baby is back home now... and i guess him hearing bout hit, he'll be kinda sad but may just console me that it was alright. BUT i dun feel it is!!!argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-04-15T20:13:00.000+08:00

wats for March

2007-03-31T14:46:00.000+08:00

So tight is my weekends and weekdays as a career woman(waakakakak), cum house wife cum mum-to-be, i have no time to blog already..
Work has been piling and yes i have to clear the load before i leave in a months time. Work has been a roller coaster ride and the responsibilities have grown after a yr there and i'm expected with more to do ..can i cope? It's all in a matter of time before we reach the answer.

catching up was cool this month. I managed to catch up with my girls ezi and echa with Usop too and of coz it was fun and worthwhile evening. thanks girls!

Then there was Kak juli that i managed to follow up with. We should hang out at west coast more often.. i think i like the place.. but maybe next time we should have McCafe then. Ogh and gd luck for your next experiment project.. let me know of the results yar!!

for the hatch day wishes..thank u all for those who remembered ;)

It's been 34 weeks now and we're alomost prepared for the lil junior to be out. My apple Pie is expected to see the world on May 7 and i'm constantly praying that we will both be healthy if not healthier.

Apple Pie is much anticipated by my relatives and friends. Bro is praying that she'll be out slightly later so that apple pie has the same birthday as him. While i prayed that she come on may 19. why? it's Arwah's Cik La's Birthday!But of coz again, it it's May 5 or may 7, i'l be most delighted too( easy date to remember). Then there's also alot of dates being thrown out by my colleagues, friends and relatives.. so we're just waiting and waiting.

My baby stuff is piling in my room. We've been doing our shopping lately and wow! preparing a baby was fun! i get to do shopping!!!!A lot, A LOT of shopping!!!!!!!! It's still not enough of shopping for me though Apple pie's clothes are piling up lots!!(so my friends if u wanna purchase clothes for Apple pie, pls dun get the new borns one.. okies :) Oh and with the shopping we also managed to save a lot with the discounts and of coz the vouchers that i've been receiving from the company for my performance this quarter..keep it up! Next, i hope the voucher they gonna give me is from Robinsons when the baby gets delivered so that i get to save again, and purchase Apple Pie's stroller.

We had gone in search for the baby's wardrobe and finally purchased it however, ITS OUT OF STOCK!! grrrhhh!!!! sickening. Sickening. I thought i could have it before the cot so that my lil room would look more organised with our growing items plus apple pie's stuff. The cot should be coming any hour now. Mummy and daddy wardrobe is also running out of space with the shopping we've been doing lately! well maybe it's time to purchase the house but how to when the grandpa is insisting that we move out in a yr or two time..

I would say 2007 was a blessing for us so far. Though with a loss to recover from Cik La,grew much stronger in relationship though they're gettng smaller in sizae. Love was rekindled among all of us. We have alomost so much gathering that it reminiscence the childhood i once had. Gatherings with all of them ann meeting my cuzzies up almost all the time.

Today marked another day where the Omar family will meet again at my house this time. They'll be here to celebrate my uncle's birthday. I';m sure if my Granparents were alive and Sikla, pak mol was ard, they'll be smiling from ear to ear. It'lllbe much fun with them ard and the stitches they give on our stomach will be endless.

I am so glad that we moved on stronger. oh and i''m so waiting to here the knock coming at the door anytime now.. ciaos

To my beloved aunt

2007-02-22T18:32:00.000+08:00

when u have someone special u always seemed to fall back and not take that person's word for granted; you dunno that you may just lose her instantaneously.

Dear Arwah Cik La,

For the start of the year, everything went well for me. I attended the greatest gathering after a fall of more that ten years. My close knit family by your side held their annual gathering and it was a great whole gathering. It was to be the last planned by my uncle. The next annual gathering has beenofficially transferred to us, the cuzzies. Unknown to us all, the gathering was the last 'permintaan' of yours truly. . The first your kid's joined us after the long years and the last of you,Arwah's presence.

How could we have missed your pain when all smiles were present in you. How could i rid off suspicions of your actions to provide me a box full of bottles, pacifiers, baby clothes all sponsored by you to arrive so early in my preggie weeks. Of course i was a bit suspicious that it came too early, Why not hand it to me in April? but God's will i brushed it off and thought too well that maybe it's because you do not want me to waste my money getting the things you have..and to stop imagining things... Unkown to us, you had it all plannd out till the end so that you did not leave behind empty gaps and suspisions that you may knew you would not live long, but to cherish the times you had with us all, and us with you.

You were diagnosed with a sickness the doc could not clarify in the early weeks of Feb,Itu pun you hid yourself in the hospital durin your first 2 days with the whole family uncaught by the pain you suffered.

You did not want us to worry of you. Mom being your sister sensed something was wrong and you were unable to hid the truth of your presence in hospital. Every day, mom made her way to TTSH and braved the traffic and consuming time of the trip foryou, her beloved. She had no complains because she loved you. We loved you. I am so sorry I came ocassionally and was always chased away by you and our loved ones because the doctors suspected that you could have lung infection or TB. Cikla being you, you made your decision to leave the hospital even before your recovery. i am sorry you had to withstand the pain to have a big tube punctured on your right back to have the liquid drained out.

We visited you during the weekends after you left hospital to make sure you are alright. Your condition was not well. with an oxygen tank machine to help support you breathing, It left me a great pain Above it all you still managed to passed me a gift. Something that was brought down from mom to you and to my baby.. and thank you for the gift you left for my baby eventhough i was getting scared of why u left the gift so much earlier to me and talked of wasiat and things.

Valentine's was meant to be special for loved ones. But on the eve, you were diagnosed that the lungs are really not in gd condition. You refused again to heed the Dr's advise and went home so that you can spend your son's birthday with him which was coming soon. At least this time you told us the truth then to hid it behind us.I was left crying till i slept and i was becoming real scared of losing you.

While everyone was looking forward to their long weekends,The start of Saturday morning, i received mom's call that you were in SICU. It was a day afetr your son's birthday. I still remembered that i jumped out of bed and called my cuzzie and i had to calmly break the news to Pak Busu and Pak Pak Ucen, who have histories of High blood pressure. My family and i left home at a haste and rushed to Tan Tock Seng where all of us met the rest. You suffered a heart attack which left us wondering. You never had histories of Heart attack. It was a miracle how you fought back and jumped to consciousness that day. As i was preggie i was kept out of bound to enter SICU.

Being there, i was already told to go home because hospitals a full of germs and everyone was bickering at me. I became helpless and listened to them. I left home crying because i wish i could be by your side. Pak Busu called me and told me u were back to normal and is conscious after Asar. i guessed my prayers were answered, Insyallah. I cam back again in the veneing with Hedir.Even after your consciousness I was left to stay away from you. I did attempt to visit you but the closest i got, was seperated by a glassdoor, in the SICU ward. i could see you wave up and down but i just could not figure out whther you were caling me or waving me or asking me to leave and everytime i found the courage to enter you room and ignored your condition, i was stopped by the doctor needing to examine you, the nurse checking you and monitoring you, there were already guests in the room and all. It was as if i was destined to be away from you.

That very next day while you were conscious , everyone told me to stay away and i promised myself that if you were transferred to a normal ward, i shall fight back to see you. That day never came. Your consciousness was not long. it lasted less than 48 hours.

At 1am on Monday you was sedated as her condition worsened. I was told that you were semi conscious with a heartbeat from 150-188. I ignored my health from the radiations of the machines.. to hold you and why are you cold? you were crying but were were not there. Why. I loved you. You left the world with a smile and I never came to feel glad that at least I had remembered you as my best aunt not any less and how you had thoughtfully thought of us and my condition.

Your wish to see your grandchild was never met. You came short to 47 and even shorter to see my baby. I thank you for being one of the strength to pull me through and lead my life with your example of life.

I may have not got to really feel you when you were really sick but deep inside i guess it happened for a reason as to why you kept me away. Maybe Allah may have heard your prayers to keep me away from you radiation machines andyour pneumonia like you had earlier warned me that should you come realy sick i shall not visit you, but i am so sorry i did not heed your advise the last two days. i just can never bring much courage to leave you but to love you more. Your love are my memories i share with my kids and of course to Hedir. he may have known you this short while but we are too inspired of you. You made yourself a gd example of a great sis, parent, aunt, mother and most importantly you.You are my Special aunt.

insyallah We will doa that you are in Heaven, our family, hedir and me. my heart ha left with just memories of you now. Life was too chort for us to enjoy your presnce but 24 yrs with you, you had neved laid a rattan, scolded us or even at a brink of gorging your eyes at us. It was how you always kept us with love care and concern and I had never see you being angry or way off your mood. There was never anger in your eyes.

To my friends, i left to be by my aunt's side i'm sorry i could not join you guys for the picnic and thanks for your understanding.

DAzeD

2007-01-29T13:41:00.000+08:00

A closest friend had to remove her fetus as it had no heartbeat. I shall keep it to myself. For her i pray she will be strong. I'm sure there's always a gd reason for why Allah let that happened. Insyallah she'll get a great kid soon insyallah with teh next attempt. Never give up hope.
I love you. And u are the most welcomed person to be my insyallah kid's god mother. I assure you that.

Baby Aida has grown up.. so the tembawmms and adorable!! she has splashes of her mom, my cuzzie and the dad of coz lah and some oarts of the ching chong mata from Muzakir by smallest cuzzie till date(which in due time will be overtaken by a new born cuzzie soon from my aunt who got married last yr)

Nights are sleepless for me.. basically i wished i have no problems to sleep.. and i can just wake up feeling fresh and ready for work. Instead of snoozing myself two three times and even not hearing the snooze two three times more, falling into deep sleep and ended up late for work.
I wished i had more deep sleep at night then the early mornings pls. Baby, mummy needs sleep lah. Daddy also affected with the sleep coz mummy can't sleep the next person she turns to ur daddy.
The body aches are worsening and goodness ya ampun.. my pain makes me so hard to walk these days and i wished i had more strength to fight the pain. I may just end up crying.
and i can cry evenmore thinking about work. I grew absent minded and i lost count of my baby's week. great right. everyday slog like shit and everything is all our fault SLA fail Agent NR too much . Fcu& lah. i detest this place so much no welfare shit to think of us. working so hard and getting nothing but why this never do why that never do how come this like this like that. so they just woke up from the den that we are doing things wrongly. So are they perfectoes.. pls my pleasure maybe u should seat on my desk answer my calls and relate teh experience you have. i think u may not even understand because u may just receive the norm pple calls but what bout the nasty pple huh.
grrh ...
i just cant wait for my super duper long break spend soon ... just soon

Just links

2007-01-29T13:36:00.002+08:00

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=cc2559cf688df2a77342796fbfd34466.1661607&fr=yvmtf

&

http://www2.oprah.com/tows/slide/200611/20061113/slide_20061113_350_102.jhtml

randoms

2007-01-25T18:53:00.000+08:00

i realise dtaht i have been collating a lot of draft entries instead of posting. Things to update seemed endless.

Not due to the editting for the drafts but. The continued story seemed enndless.

Life has been blissful. Weekends are spend mostly with me and hubby or my bro at home whilst mom goes out to dutifully go to aerobics lah and taking a break
I have my hubby who helps with housework.. he did mopping for his wifey! so sweet kan! hahah and my bro helped with the clothes. My BRO. unbelievable how NS really changed him plus being an uncle soon makes him more matured(abang abang lah katakan) That part really made me wonder is he my bro. Well i hope i can change the fact but i do refuse to believe my baby bro has brown up. two yrs apart i still believe in loving him as my bro and baby bro coz his selengerness is endless in my eyes. depan macho but deep inside his still young at heart lah katakan(walaau pun he looks much older than me!)

Nuff bout my bro. My hubby too helped with the clothes.. his uniform full of diesel, he helped to clean them most of the time if i got busy.

Thats not it. The kitchen now smells of the food i cook! More frequently than i was single. i made my own pizza! my own sauce and it was a superb. The dough was nicely done. The taste was everything there.. the cheese was endlessly cheesy! but i soon had a backache after that..tired on doughing the dough i guessed. i managed to get to big trays of pizza with that dough..
I shall try again once i'm laid off with the baby out :P

Cooking has been fun. I think i'm getting the hang of wifey jobs plus juggling with work. work has been "inspiring". And i can't wait for the loong long break.

Oh and my baby is as super as her mom! i keep getting movements up down left right
ok. Loveable feeling! But of coz she's talented lah. She can know that the dad wants to feel the movement and behaved as an angel ok. And sis got to feel the kick! It moved anytime now..even whilst i sleep. suker skali wake me up.

the tummy big lah now i can't hide it in my big blouses no more lah..
ok i go now becoz it's late and i'll update again soon no more hald drafts..when the stuff come, the time comes, i'll update more....
toodles...

a new resolution?

2007-01-05T23:13:00.000+08:00

i'm happy to be hogging at the PC and managed to MSN-ing and clear my mails at the same time today.

Here's the update from my super weekend.

2006 ended with Hari raya haji where i witnessed the kambing korban and also for the first time, saw the last kambing jumped off the pellet made fence ran off from the field and off to the neighbourhood block of flats! Alhamdulillah they managed to catch it. Otherwise it would have hit the SPH headlines for kambing biri2 on the loose!

2007 began with a wild bang for me...though my hubby and i slept during the countdown coz we were super tired from the korban..

we had a great reunion party which lasted till minight for the Omar Family. Sadly however i had to leave early for my hubby's friend kekahan and my in-laws house. I did not missed the whole lot of fun though. We left home after Zohor to join the rest at my Uncle's house at Lakeholmz and the few have came while waiting for the rest, we helped each other to fill up the table. It was a potluck of food ..i brought my fav instrument the fondue(courtesy of echa and usop), and popiah ketam, which was hot cakes for the young and old.. then we had from pizzas to brayani, to roti kirai(specially made for me!!), Satay, badak berendam,cakes for the jan babies and of coz lots of US..my cetkas and more pple in the family. There were karaokes and get-to-know's specially for the new family members and all. I'm glad that it worked out well and we will continue it again next yr

.scr- a pain in the neck for Dec

2006-12-29T21:44:00.000+08:00

I'm not wat's happening lately in the world of the news. I've realised that since i've worked in HP, my life's a mess with my surrounding. It has been work, home, work, sleep, work, family.

I've not been going shopping as frequent as i used to. I've not been going from one end of Orchard Road to Cityhall as far as i remembered. I've not dropped to meet myfriends of late and most importanatly i cannot evenm remember simple things as to return a reply from an sms and even if i did, my friends dun get them or i dunt get the replies and it'll take me hours or worst, days to rememebr that i need to reply to an sms.

Well this is what i've remembered of my mishap December this month i guessed.
-My dear sis went to Europe for her tour, and i planned to send her off and ended up being stuck at work and i only remembered AFTER i knocked off, which was way beyong the depature time. If i had not extended my help at work i could have mad it on time ;(

-Got time off to visit the gynae, and Baby and I planned to go shopping. me being me, i misplaced the voucher from TANGS and forgot to bring the voucher. It was resting on my bed while we tossed and searched my bag... Grrh..

-A late call from a friend to go out, i had to apologetically refuse as we made plans to have dinner at his mom's place and the re-schedule came quiet. i was waiting for the call but i guessed she's busy. sigh.

- Work. work . work again.. has been totally in s a n e!! I sure have grown so accustomed to the lovehate relationship with work that I'm having nightmares every bad night to bed. And it does not help that i'm already with an achng back that i wonder where i can get the beauty sleep. It does not end there.. i wish i have much space to grow that i'm being o v e r l o a d e d with work that i wish it could be ideally equalise with the pay i get.

-Work. work . work again..Rightfully yes there is an urge of urgency and the thrill of being able to solve so much cases .. but to handle 92 cases now, seeing the numbers are making me grow mad. i wish it was the other way round;29..at least..
i'm just like the dustbin where everyone just chucks the unfinished cases, the outstanding cases for pple who left, go on leave and went for MC. it sucks. The further i clear, the more cases i get and it's bringingUP my morale... looking at the numbers just worried me. It will not end next week. Same case. Another person leave and i'm just holding my hands up as if i'm 'begging' for the case to enter my came management acct.. I dn have to wait long enuff to reach 100. I'm pretty sure next week the cases will be 'donated' to me. for sure.

-Work. work . work again..there's a virus outbreak which is additionally increasing our cases! can they just be a little bit smart and not open .scr attachments!! gawks*! when there's a circulation of the issue going on and they still open it .. i wonder if they made all the instruction, can't they just understand the instructions made for them?it's so ironic!

-Work. work . work again..I may just broke up with that relationship with lots of tears and a stress mind. Why does it always happen to my team. i feel jinxed.

-The rain has brought delight to some but it has also brought misfortune to our neighbours. I never felt that the rain could have impacted mylife, until i rememebered of Hedir's family who leaves near a river. I became paranoid. AS real as it seems, They were hit by the worst flood season in histroy. Alhamdulillah everyone managed to save them selves, but it breaks to hear that everything is ruined. Even the door has been glued with Mud.. everything was already destroyed. A month back i've just gone to thier place and it was pitchy hot season and all was fine. Now, i'm not even sure..the pictures flashing on the condition now scares me. I pray for all the innocent lives killed and the poor families hit by the flood.

All in all i just can't wait for Dec to end and insyallah Jan will be a yr to look forward to. With the family meeting up for the annual gathering of my mom's side i just can't to flourish my indulgence to the choc fondue, the cakes and the great food!! *drools* Most importantly, the great pple, our family. It's gonna be a celebration of love. A celebration ceased a decade ago after the loss of my Grandma, then my gradnpa. with patience we lived to remember that i'm sure she would love to see us rekindle the spirits we had every Jan 1. I see a bright light where we will be fingers apart..instead of miles apart from the love we once had. he only difference; three who left us; Pak Mok, nenek and tok, but with a difference of a few more added in the family; a new generation of their great-grandchildren, and another to come...

superly overdosed

2006-12-17T22:57:00.000+08:00

The owner has lost it's will to blog. How not to when the owner frustrations grew while updating the blog:-
(1) The pc @ home shuts down by itself. auto reboot. titik. and i did not save the entry.
(2) I typed it all over again and did a "Publish post". Instead it prompted me to log in.. what the &^&%!! All my entries went unsaved. It went on for a while at my home's PC. i got so lazy to blog
(3) Thought of blogging at work. And to play on the save side, I did an entry in a notepad but in the end i realised that i had not an inch of spare time that the notepad became an empty sheet.

I'm back at home to pen this before Daim calls in to sleep :P

work;
-no time to sneak a preview to blog or surf or even clear my own work email, let alone my hotmail and yahoo acct which is growlingly insane with hundreds of emails.
- It was mundane and with lots of complains(my own complain of course) with the love-hate relationship of my workin environment. The resource is always low at my team and i have work extra hard and i'm already hateful of the lack of support i'm getting and the things i need to do with no credits at the end of the day. Let's just say i'm doing it to learn and survive and if i have a chance, i'll be sellable.
- I ha clocked so much time offs that i think Daim is worried sick of the time i spend at work and he's worried i am becoming the workaholic i used to be. Contradicting to his worry, I got worried myself of his growing passion to overtime and work like crazy from mondas to fridays till 9PM and on both weekend till 5PM and tiring himself out so that he can earn more for our future.

- My efforts got paid off this month for the recognitions i got at work and with the compliments coming in and the money i'm pocketing, oops. Voucher instead at Tangs, i'm saving to shop and spree it all at one go with my daim! Plus i even have certs! which at least will come in handy one day! However, i hope the gd things Compl-IMENTS come in more instead and not the compl-AINS

the subjected life-
So married with my Daim and work,
i had no time even to clear my sms that i missed the delivery of my cuzzies daughter! but alhamdulillah I managed to see her on the first day she was borned a healthy one indeed! And the mom she is healthy too!

My visit to the doc suggested that both me an the lil one is healthy. The last scan i went with daim on friday, lil one showed his butt..i was annoyed but amused. My hands are itchy to do the shopping but Mom strongly believed that we should save our money and shop at one go. But WE have been secretly staretd going shopping and buying the things lil by lil and of course shop for Daim and myself ..keeheehee since the SALE word is ard every corner in town!

Apart from this we are also screening for new houses. Of late we had only one visit to see a house and it was not to our expectation ;( more headaches to come and more responsibilities growing. If only the houses were on SALE like the rest of the things in town!

To date, i think my time zone has been a haywire. It seems like my brain has cracked and i've turned to a very forgetful Nani and my time management sucks. I'm working back on my tracks and getting a full list of things to do jotted down so that i can improve my situation. i hope it works. and I actually forgot to important dates in these two months. sigh..

The 06n will end soon and come a greated challenge in us. to face 2007 insyallah. Daim and I hope and pray for the best.

my longest stride

2006-10-23T09:18:00.000+08:00

It has been so long since i pen down my thoughts to this blog. A day to hari raya and i'm still at work buzzing and trying to decrease the cases i have. grrrh...
and i hope it's half day today for all of us, muslim agents.

I'm trying to enlighten my mood by not thinking too much of work here.. but sadly how not to!!!! the calls are ringing non stop and they're so relaxed trying to act busy.. last day of pusas also can get me fumed and feels like i just did headbanging. Pple are all going home but i'm stuk at work. they say we may be able to be released early.. ya 3PM.. work from 8-3!!! at least 9-3 something. oh fish. work sux in reality.

it will be a very different raya with two more added plus two more coming to the family. Insyallah But there is still a hole in my heart. I'm missing her greatly.my grandma has been so consistent in my mind that i feel so empty without her and i wished she would have seen me and was by my side when i got married. It has been yrs since she left and i sure miss teh raya mood i had from my mom's side. I wished they have the same enthusiasm as my dad's side.

The schedule tomorrow will be jampacked. i hope my parents will manage to finish all the houses by 2PM and cover as moany houses as we can so that i dun disappoint my in-laws and we can get moving to his side then.

Ths ramadhan travelled really fast and insyallah i would have ZERO hutang if i pass today's hurdle!! yeahoo! it's been a VERY long time since i had zero hutang!! hahahaha!

Another yr of no break fast with kak juli. which was weird coz we missed it twice already. I'm quite saddened that marriage life really made us no time for each other but i hope next time it wun't happen again and i sure missed the macaroon making at her place.

Then there is no buka with the rest of my polymates due to our tight schedules (except the usual crew) . In all, this yr was a break record. 27 of the days are spent breaking fast at home. . It was a vast difference from my many days years back. busy breaking fast with different cliques, visits to geylang at night and shopping in town. It could most certainly be because i was not in favour of eating out and kept feeling the necessity of NO CROWDS, pls, thank you. well i hope WIFE doen't mean less time with my friends to do ctching up with.gawd, i feel so guilty but i hope they understand my reasons. And of course buka with my cuzzie was the first and we enjoyed it and i'm glad i made it eventhough it was impromptu. I love them so much

feeling groggy already. i just wanna wishe everyone who drops by here a happy Hari Raya. Maaf zahir dan batin.

"Ta Qabollahu mina waminki/a"

to all the muslims out there

P/s: to my friend's driving, pls drive safely, wherever you are.

capturing the highlights

2006-08-31T13:00:00.000+08:00

04.08.06
Tonight i was not the BFG. I finalised and confirmed that i do not want to re-apply the inai. Instead, i put on the white gloves and started to grab the inai tube and drew for the young ones AND the big grown ups..

It was a heartwarming event that most of my relatives and even my Kak juli was ard to add more zest to the atmosphere. The lil sis, Fala came at 6AM.

In between we had ma cuzzie highlighting moi hair :P. She's skilled at hairdos(well i think it runs in the family.)Unfortunately i grew restless and couldn't wait till 6AM and left the crowd at 5AM. Dad has advised me to sleep so i dun look old and haggard. The only pple awake was Nonie and Didi and of coz Dad.
....

05.08.06
The solemnisation was a big commotion. There were such a big crowd and i did not managed to get the best seats to peep at the akad nikah. Such a waste! i should have requested for a tv to be placed in my room! But all was well, and i wanted my close ones to share my joy, and we couldn't have asked for more than to be blessed, me and him, with the presence of our loved ones( u know whu u are!).

Of course, i was reminded of the loved ones who loved me more than myself. Without their presence and not being here to view this day; My Grandpa and Grandma whom i had fondly grown to cherish.It was all memories left. I was one of grand-daughters close to them, which made my freshly applied make up get worn off in a split sec when my grandaunt mentioned their names.She reacted the same. It was an instant breakout. I'm sure they are glad that i'm blessed with this great guy, Hedir. With the help of Kak Jusi, she made me a princess again.

Photo session one after the other it was bliss.

That same day, I had no time to tell Billa, my mate sharing the same date as me that The tok kadi has left, before we know the nikah has ended.

My Daim called at midnight, and told me that he lost the ticket. The ticket to our honeymoon. That left us sleepless.(i was actually feeling sleepy around 12 and ready to doze to dreamland)
....

06.08.06
The big day came and left and in 24 hours time we will be off to relax ourselves.
It went by very fast.

By morning everyone was rushing about. I was ready with my songket by 11 plus. So early rite. then by 12 plus we were off to the dais.

Bro was busily trying to get power for the fans to work. They tentage was super wqarm. Unfortunately there was a power black out. Dad activated a Plan B just minutes before the guys side with the hadrah reach our side. He called my bro to pull down the plastic canvas at the sides of the dais. Boy, i felt relieved and glad that my make up would not tarnish due to the heat. I was perspiring from head to toe!

It was a huge turn up with my friends coming in one by one to take photos..The sight was lovely. I was overwhelmed and reunion really greeted upon my guests who came from all over Singapore.(mauahahah) And it was multi racial. I so love you guys!

There were more photosessions.The photo taking sessions did not end even at Hedir's side. I felt so much like a diva!!!Unfortunately like i told Ezi, i was so not congeniality with my smile. And i forgot the "world peace*". Daim was tired even before 3PM. It was all written in his face.

When we came back, dad was singing a song. We were late of course. Then we had more photograph-ing sessions. This time round it was more of a family affair.During the photo taking, something miraculous and unexpected happened!!! Something my family, daim and me could never forget! * i shall keep mum* on the suspense. :P Call me or tag me if u wanna know wat happened!

All in all we were much satisfied. We did the bouquet throw for fun even though we knew it was syirik. We did it for the picture taking. Haha the bouquet was thrown three unsuccessful time because we threw too low.. but the last throw landed in kak Dillah's hand! muahaahaaha.. which we were actually expecting to here the wedding bells from her even before the bouquet was thrown.

..05-06 aug 2006. A day that went fast. It was like the clocks had wheels and in split seconds we realiesd that our time for glamour is over. Life is now real. I'm a woman now. a wife, still a daddy's girl but my Daim's in charge of me now. Sick or old. loved and sadness. we will share it together. We were fully exhausted but the end was a beginning of our lives bonded as one.

one with the other. one without another is half of the other.

I'm so loved and in love.

It's the beginning of the end

2006-08-07T15:12:00.000+08:00

Helllo there.... the journey has just begun... i'm now at Changi airport Gate D47 at terminal 1 ready to fly off in a few min time. FREE internet access!!! hahaha but there's a catch though.. 15 min grace so i'm gonna write something short and sweer..The destination; Transit from Bangkok to Phuket and back to Bangkok for SHOPPING. My DAIM is here now.. we're OFFICIALLY husband and wifey on Saturday 05.08.06 at around 5 PLUS(becoz as usual Salim Jasman was a lil late.

Everything's all settled before i left home.. but the excitement is not over yet, photos for studio, videos not done yet becoz we're gonna postpone it to a much later date.

The reception went well i managed to see A LOT of my friends waving at me. We felt like a filmstar, both him and me.. well we're quite imressed with the turnout yesterday.. i shall not blabber much about the occasion. Will save it once i get FULL internet xs. Main obejctive of logging in to the workstation now is to THANK MY FAMILY, my cuzzies, caca, Kak nor, the rest (which is a very huge bunch to name, for staying by and were present for the full 2 days.and of coz to the OPH pple and OB pple who came, some came TWICE, which i really truly love to have them at my wedding..(i'm glad we took photos!!) oh and the other pple from #PM and TP pple!!! i gtg now wil update my best moments in a while.

I'm off now..
the time's up i need to board!! toodles..

the BFG

2006-08-04T10:23:00.000+08:00

The relatives have started to stream in last night not all but just a pinch of them. My closest ones, kak nor, caca, soli and my Mamadik. The rest mistook my inai night to be today(of which i will still be wearing inai again for another night(*Heavy sigh)

yesterday started with my plans to Jurong point to run errands as well as to put aside my $$ before i spend all of it. on my way there, i receved a call from the "Tent guy" that they are at Jurong east and willl be on the way there. OK. last minute again. So i advised them to come a lil later and in the end they postponed it to today. great.Super great. I felt that it really kinda turn me off that i have to follow their schedule. Last minute ok. at least give me two hours grace lah.

Down at Jurong point i headed for the beauty shop to get a toe separator. I have never really walked around Jurong Point but i was super glad that i managed to find all the things i wanted and of course finally stopping at "Beauty Bar". It's not the bar where u drink, u see. It's a pedicure and manicure shoplah. My first time having that treatment. I do wonder how can a weekday at 2PM be crowded there. hmmft but i was glad that their service was superbly super! Being my first time there i think i lurve their pedi treats!
It was a pity i could not get a picture of it. sigh. My digi cam was not with me. It was with my lil cuz lor.

Reaching home, the aunt had already started to arrange the hantarans. We're left to get the fresh flowers. Then mak buyong came and the last guest came at ten plus. Because kak nor thought that i was gonna wear the inai today.

It was one hell of an experience; the inai. I have always loved wearing the inai, but gawd! my hand felt like it has gone hard and heavy. luckily its a once ina lifetime that i wear this kind of inai. By 11, i was totally stone and tired. I had to sit outside and life was miserable. My bro purposedly tortured me. He gave me my drink after hours of pleading. then he gave me juice instead of iced water. But i was too thirsty to rule that. After which when i was half asleep m DAD TIED ME UP! His reason: "IF i dun tie you up, then you will touch your face and then inai will patch on your face...". What the fish!! told ya i felt like the BFG so helpless. So it was all sleepless last night. So much thanks from dad, for tying me up!
Mom thought it was a gd idea. so i wun wash it in the middle of the night. Have they ever thought that what if in the middle of the night i want to go to the washroom?! if i saw a lizard or a cockroach on me how do i brush it off me!! alamak now i know how 'Big Friendly Giant' felt when he was tied up.

Now i wish that tonight the BFG will not have a second sequel. apart from all this i heave a huge sigh of relief that everyone forgot to take picture of the "BFG" *phew*

i'm sexcited!

2006-07-31T15:27:00.000+08:00

i'm excited but i'm worried
I'm happyand overjoyed

I'm so awake though i've not slept. It's so strange how anxiety can perk one's energy

The aunt has never used inai and never loved inai. But she honoured to wear them for me..i hope it does well.

Gawks.. i'm hours away to move to a big step and waking up with not just pillows but my darling daim. no longer smeagol coz he will be to priceless to be someone Smeagol.

The heart is going "thump.. thump", and it still does.
and it'll be pumping real hard as the time passed.

hmm i just can't wait for the looong break from work it's the first i got this long break

i'm not done yet

2006-07-31T03:26:00.000+08:00

well i'm still not asleep though i'm sleepy.. 2 hours more to get ready for work so i feel insecure to sleep and obvershot.

Anyway i just remembereed my little hunney buney. She disallowed,refused to allow me to get married. She insisted,convinced and comforted herself that i will not get married becoz i luv her. She felt that i am her "raven". (Supposed to be a cartoon character.I have not watched it myself!)
I guess she's got the insecured feeling that i'll ditch her.. plus i'll be on a jetplane str8 after our wediing..gawd she'll hate me if she finds out. Her innocent and sweet face will turn sour. Her gentle character when she handles me ha ha i felt so loved by her and i hope she understands that marrying her uncle hedir wun change my status of love for her. SHe will still be my first niece. My darling angel. And i love her so much for the respect she gives me.
my lil niece is so cuddly sweet. Can't help but pity her and i hope she still wanna take photos with me when i get married this coming weekend.

Talk about the next coming monday, i'm off to visit two cities. Let's just pray that the weather is fine and alrigt and there is no storm and No tsunami ..insyallah.

Now i'm contemplating to take more off days this week..and maybe i should since i still have abalance of 5 days even after the raa days already taken..hmm i'll decide by tomorrow since i can't sleep of late..hmmm works just sux-full stop.

a new face

2006-07-31T02:52:00.000+08:00

we baked cookies this morning,sis and i and ended at the stroke of twelve.. and during breaks i managed to upload the design for this blog.

Nothing new but just straining my brains.. i know it needs some sleep.. but i'm not sure why i have fear of sleeping lately.

*phew! I've finally changed the chick lay out..after some time.

so wat happened for the whole of this month?
-it has been a long July turned quick; felt long becoz work was extra long hours these month. "THANKS" to someone grrh!
-LATE FOR WORK:-
COuntless this month.. I could get fired i guess but i hope not. I need the money. The shifts are kinda tight and SLA sux. Boi i totmarketing jobs were the werst where you need to get targets,i was so wrong. Our SLA are so affected that i wished i could just cut the callers line for being so sick.
-looking on a brighter side i just can't wait for it to end BECOZ i need a LOOONG BREAK; If only i could take the whole montH! i so hate the work climax. i hope it gets better when i get back sigh~

-i had visited the SPA, PA campsite, Visit my in-laws to-be, had a small celebration for mom at home with the extended fammily,cleared my room, finished my itineries for my wedding, went to the bridal, sent out my cards, booked our honeymoon destination, met up with old friends and the list goes on...all stretched out in July. Ironically i felt much more tired nowadays though i'm not working at Starbucks..

-I've been cranky and temperamnetal without my hubby to be.

-no sleep is enough lately.. though i've got a new bed, it's not comfy till it's over; the wedding that is.

-and here i am still not asleep since early morning.
Gawd i feel so sick and nauseaous.. and not go for any MC this week

this weeks gonna g o off pretty fast.
Receiving calls from well wishes and old friends.. some bringing gd news while some will not be able to make it to my wedding.Booohoo :( due to work commitments and overseas trip..sigh. but thank god they're nice enuff to inform me earlier. Nevertheless i do hope tosee the rest.

I received an early present from echa *hugs*!! i can make my own fondue!!! yummy! but ut has to go on sometime next time.. i need to lose weight and sadly we planed to use it for my solemnisation but looks like it wun happen!ARgh! my mom is so against it..darn. i wish i am more in control..sigh~

Memoirs

2006-07-05T01:42:00.000+08:00

"Was doing some chores when i was remnded of something, Sleng and nger, ring a bell"-message by X.
Of coz i did!
Of late i've been receivng tonnes of well wishes,reminiscence of the memories we had between u and me.. thank you pple..reserve it for my wedding day as well aight, I'm really touched and moved by your sincere messages. hang on there few days more!
Thank you for reminding me of all the great times we had.

The list goes on to why u were remembered. Gd or bad. You guys have been the people that shaped me to being me. I am grateful i met you guys by chance, be it in school, outside , at work.

For teh people waiting for their card. Thank u for ur patience.. unfortunately stamps are hard to come by esp when i get down the bus, walking home, there ain't any provision shop. Going to work is just facin a steep slope and dispatch vans. No provion shop again. Singapore POST and SAM are kilomtres away..so that explain my "rajinnes"

Went down to my ol' second home. My third place they call it on Friday. gawd i miss myself hanging about and having fun. No stress. no bickerings. no hate wars. No counts on who do wat and when. so i'm keeping a big secret bout this only sis knows. hahaha i'll spill the beans once the excitement is arriving hahaah else it's all suspense lah dey... muahahahahaaa

seulb ginddew

2006-07-05T01:23:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling shaken..i'm one month short to being blessed my parents. I pray i'll be fine and all and i hope i dun mash my makeup FM is putying on me.
My mom have been panicking all season since the engagement on our wedding prep.But now she's calm(hmmft). Unfortunately dad and me just got hit.Sis will probably get hit on the day itself, wheere she'll be the busiest co-ordinator. ever.
Anyway back to dad.. he just realised that he has a DOZEN AND DOZEN of pple to invite.. *Faints* and i'm freaking out coz he's asking permission for me to cut my guest list.. see lah when i had him to Prepare and before we did our catering he WAS CONFIDENTLY VERRRY SUREEEE that we will not hit the max pax per person.. which of coz mom and me finds it hard to believe..So it really happened EVEN with the increased guest list that we prepared.. so how.. i die lah.more sleepless nights .. need to find a quick solution. quick....!

dalam berkasih jangan ada dusta

2006-06-28T23:15:00.000+08:00

Telah lama ku nantikan
saat indah bergini oh kasih
hati in bagaikan bersinar kembali
setelah lama sepi

tapi bagaimanakah harus ku luahkan
rasa isi hatiku
telah lama ku pendemkan sayang
rahsia cinta padamu
izinkan ku bawa kau bersama
melayari bahtera hatiku

dalam berkasih jangan ada dusta
sumpah dan janji di kota bersama
walau rintangan sentiasa menanti
dalam doa di kau ku iringi
selalu
oo..oo..oh..
dengarkanlah!!

kau sebutlah! kasih ku in..oh kasih

Telah lama ku nantikan
saat indah bergini oh kasih
hati in bagaikan bersinar kembali
setelah lama sepi

tapi bagaimanakah harus ku luahkan
rasa isi hatiku
telah lama ku pendamkan sayang
rahsia cinta padamu
izinkan ku bawa kau bersama
melayari bahtera hatiku

dalam berkasih jangan ada dusta
sumpah dan janji di kota bersama
walau rintangan sentiasa menanti
dalam doa di kau ku iringi
selalu
oo..oo..oh..(x2)
dengarkanlah!!

feeling excitement!

2006-06-27T18:14:00.000+08:00

i am so feeling excitement but the working space is suffocating me and draining me out. Thank la dey for ruining my enhtusiasm.. i just can't help but count the days to my long leave...

The next step

2006-06-24T18:25:00.000+08:00

Adumak... my Smeagol and i have purchased X and it cost another hole in the pocket.. to date my pocket's stitch has loosen extremely. bleargh.. but of coz there's always a catch. We could have chose not to purchase X but we did. This will be the beginning of our new life. hehehe.. The anxiety damn high sia. It's like freakin fast.. My cards are so far going to the receipient liao..This will be our last stop to paradise before we get serious on our life.
The cuzzies are all counting days.

I spoke to my x-colleague two nights back..she got twins!! so cool and they're identical! The great news was so great but hearing her bear the pain.. erks..only GOD knows.. I hope her daughters grow nice, warm friendly and healthy like the mom. She wanna sponsor my henna day ..But tat will mean i'll have to skip my traditional inai? *ponders* or chould i have both? which will of course be a challenge and a risk.
WHat if; the colour didnot match
what if; it looks to ou-Biang and Or-Bhit.
what if; it looks to squeezy.
urrghs!!
It's so hard to make decisions.
The only decision i've enjoyed makig this far, was me agreeing to marry him; and of course the X decision(although this is pending to let it happen)..vice versa. full stop. the rest are swirling my head to drop brain dead.

*Yawns* Its anly 6.33PM but i'm sleepy whoa. tomorrow will be another long day... prepare to call the waste dumper guy....

Me and my kental keduak kucar kacir life (Hasty Life)

2006-06-20T22:28:00.000+08:00

There has been an uproar of events. Ups and downs. The weather forecasts had caused a turbulence on my daily life. My love and hate relationship with Work somehow reflects the love and hate relationship Fai is having with Robert.(Her crush of course.)

I had been working hard these few months..which is a good sign of course, But somehow or rather at has been a rocky journey. I almost landed with a complaint the last 2 week,.. and unfortunately another incident i troubleshoot last week DID land me in deep **it. BUT of course it happened for a reason. I would love to blame it all on the weatherman. A LOT OF my colleagues have been visiting the Doctor.. recurrent cases some sincere cases, while others were on MC just for the sake of "lazy to work" attittude. HOw is dat man.. SLA is really bad this two months. We r all burned out,breathing with a long heavy sigh and breathing down one another's neck. But of course there's a pro's and cons in this issue. We're getting more staff. Which is a Gd sign. The cons; not pleasantly said.

nuff bout work. LIfe's been a lil dull i just got away from the throat infection.. alhamdulillah it's getting better. I'm getting my voice back. Baby's already feeling the pinch on my busy schedule.. I'VE LEFT THE STARBUCKS ORGANISATION..Which have left my dad, baby and mom a huge smile on their face.. and I'm freaking sad and lost. It has always been my third place. I entirely grew up my teenage life with Starbucks.. burgh.. it felt horrible to leave the place when the environment is so cool
Given a chance to summarise.. i love the culture. I love the experience.. so u see why i had been there for exactly 5 yrs, 7 months,, because i love the job..because i love the art of making the best coffee(thought i dunch drink them) because i love the atmosphere.

Of course looking positively, i'll have enough time catching up my singlehood with my friends and of course my Sweet Smeagol who will not long be my "H.U.B.B.Y."*blushes* cause i guess sometimes i have neglected their companion.

Wedding preparations which have been halted due to my busy schedules have since been continued.. Thanks to Echa we've got the things going well. Thank to Fala, she got some great staff from Dubai which add some light to my stufff and gosh i'm thrilled!MOM's been helping to make it more neater by having some parts of it sewn so that i dun have to glue on it. Well i have not forgotten the great thanks i owe to Echa and her sis's company Pulpshots(i wish i could bold this but the IMAC just would not allow me to!). Boy i was so naive and fickle. I think if i was sheda, i would have given my disgusted fickle mind a bang on the guitar! I thank u girls so much and i so owe owe owe owe you girls big time.. and i wun stop thanking u guys u noe! And Echa for all her beauty sleep i've stolen from her just to make sure the alignment to the card worked well,

Apart from this busy schedule, it lapsed me from visiting a friend's mom, whom i grew up meeting her almost a few times a month when i was young. Her sweet charisma and forgiving attitude. Her soft spoken words and her politeness and friendliness have won much of our respect. My regret for not visiting her when she was well. For my negligence in life, i failed to remember how she used to love kids, and treat as her own and how Allah can take one's life in a mere second.She Never failed to say hi and ask how u r doing.She never scolds, not even a pitch of tone heard from the years i've known her. She died a few weeks back with a breast cancer. Reminding me of the good o l days, my dedication to her. My doa and blessings that she is safe and insyallah di Syurga. Her being herself has touched my heart, I Pray that one day i'll be as calm and patient as her, Insyallah

wedding Jitters

2006-06-20T10:42:00.000+08:00

I'm having wedding jitters.. i felt like it is but i'm not sure.. i'm feeling naseautic with all the preparations.. i'm not sure why but i guess Echa was right. I worry too much.

i need my eyes-i need ideas

2006-05-23T00:41:00.000+08:00

I am ssso tired these days, i can barely open my eyes nowadays and still feeling the exhaustion, but i simply can't undrstand why i have problems forcing myself to sleep.

Life's been busy with the FT job, with 8-9 hrs access to the two PCs and adding more stress to my tired eyeballs. it ain't helping me recover my tiredness tat much on weekends.. SO MANY CALLS @ work!! outages,forgot password faulty PC, FARK man. the mgmt just can't fulfill the headcount and it's a crazy warzone hear. battling the beeping sounds. it feel s like a polyclinic here.wad the haeck are they thinking. we r no robots! we r *just agents!We r overworked! ok maybe most of the times we're overworked lah of late. not before. sigh i wish i can burn all the issues this pple have with their untamed functional algorithm in using the PC. Dammit password also can forget within two days! u swallow ur password is it during the weekends? toopid. wat's so hard of remembering huh! Weekends always forget password.
and thanks so much for the new onsites "help". It's making me paint my eyebags with coal and puke blood.

Much to all this stress adding in my life.. my parents are so ready for the preparations and have been bugging me constantly every hour for all my unfinished busness for the weddings so that can do their next homework.
aiyaaaah.

The marriage registration went well. We went last week. We checked our CPF and we will be heading to HDB soon after the wedding if thing goes well

Baby did some teeth polishing and i love his teeth now, Tomorrow he's removing his tooth and i feeel so bad i can't be by his side coz i'm WORKING!!!!! auw mann! and he'll be on MC for 5 DAYS ..whoa..!

Much to my exhaustion my dad has popped the million dollar qn he posed me 5 yrs back: "when r u gonna quit Starbucks?"
i can just whine and replied.." soon,soon. " HE pulled a long empty face.

Fala's back but in Terengganu now and will be back tomorrow. washe really have non stop travelling haaha.

I'll be missing the TNP BIG WALK for the second time running. i forgot to register plus has it pass yet? or is it this week. I'm not only becoming a selective listener but having selective memory too! help!!!!!!!!!

Da Vinci Code.. i shall not comment on the story but all i can say is it's fictitious and we shall not question whether he has a wife. There is no written evidence in the Quran , is there? well i'm n o scholar so i will not confirm that.

X MEN III coming!! i'm more like a movie Junkie since i'm with SMEAGOL. i watch almost all the BIG movies released this month! can't wait..can't wait..

thunders coming and the wind is glowing.. logging off i'm feeing terified...nitees

2006-05-07T22:22:00.000+08:00

hulooo pple!

I would say i'm in a lot of stress here! so u see why the empty blogs las month.

Updates:

We had fun at the chalet. Bumped around and eat and sleeep and we caught a late night movie..
My Smeagol has been shopping A LOT that includes me too (haha!) though we're supposed to save every penny of it! but it's simply irresistable to see the sales especially when u are working in the town area and when u spend your time with ur friends in town.
Thanks to the Progress Package, It helped to cover the holes in my pocket. I managed to pay my instalments and used some % of it for my Smeagol
My hantaran gifts for him are almost done. He got his lovable shoes(todate he hascollected more than 5 shoes in a year!). He had his share of happiness on the choice of the things he wanted and i'm glad he loved it all. I lved mine tooo.. (*giggles*)
The furniture's finalised. Though i could say that we're having headache becoz the room my bro is occupying now(which i will soon take over, MUAHAHAHAA) is kinda small.. boohooo..So we settled for a smaller bed. Well My Semagol ain't a giant so i guess it should fit us both (kekekeke). And it's not cheap lor. I'm still looking for my chest of drawers, a miror set or a dressing table and probably a bench to be placed at the foot of the bed.
I'm in the midst of finishing my hantaran deco but it's simply wasted by the side of my hallroom much because i'm caught up with work, SB, dating my Smeagol and of coz the gyrls. I guess wehn i get married things will be slightly diff but i'll make sure tat doesn't change the status of our relationship.
I miss my ~~lil~~ fala: because w/o her i am hanging in the air. I need her so much and i guess my selfish traits made me even weaker now that she's still in Dubai. Looking at the brighter side, i can't wait for her to be back! yeslah dear, i miss u sooo much lah sister!oh and yah she's grown into a swan, so not lil anymore~
My fitness regims ain't working. I THINK i am putting on more weigth than ever so i've shun all the rice but i think the calories are just building up and i'm growing every inch. bummer. Wat a timing, man.
The wedding card's been drafted but i'm waiting anxiously for the design so that i can quickly print them out and start gathering alll the addresses of the guests! phew~!which can be a sore in my brain coz i'm not gd with addresses and all. hopefully my bro will be helping me out in this.
Butterflies on my stmach, we're going to the ROMM this month! weeweeeT! Not kiasuism but i almost forgot we had to register , which was meant to be the most important part of the wedding processes.
Smeagol's been working ral hard these days.. not a single offday in April..but i'm so glad he made time for me to prepare our wedding. i lurve him!
Dad and Smeagol's kicking out fine so I'm hyperly excited that their bond is building. Mom has no issues with him and they are talking and talking all the time, which is a relief for me
Latest discovery.. I'm getting solemnised a day after his mom's birthday! well if only Smeagol had remembered the date, we could have gotten solemnised on her birthday! It's so typical guy for him to forget dates! he better not forget mine ah
I'm gonna leave my Starbucks family soon but with a VERY HEavy heart argh! Planning to purposely leave in early Augustus. Smeagol disapproves of my relationship with STarbucks. It's my addiction to punch it, work , hang out with the pple there. I'm gonna miss my discoveries there and my comrades there.
And yes the workplace is like warzone now. I guess tomorrow will be anothe long and draggy day.. help meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

long gone and i've left a hefty long pointed essay here...

Beach !! here i come!!

2006-04-07T16:00:00.000+08:00

yes i'm going to the beach tomorrow! bye all! time to knock off!!!! :P

rantings

2006-04-07T13:51:00.000+08:00

I am practically making the cab drivers earn more income. Been flagging the cab most too often these few days. The temptation to flag a cab decreased last month but this month i had a sudden urge of laziness to take the bus and have tried to psycho my mind to be more thrifty.. no no.. to wake up earlier and prepare my own breakfast.. but i still made that same mistake again these few mornings.

Slept late last night, mumbled stupid things while conversing with Smeagol. I was actually talking in my sleep! I was mumbling my dreams to him, While on the PHONE! So, it all explains how dead tired i was coz yesterday was not the first time. Threee nights in a row! .what the heck! so it was so obvious i was not listening to him! oh no!Amusing to think of it but iritating lah for him! Smeagol was kinda unhappy that i'm in this state.. urgh! I'm half sleepy now already, after a fruitful lunch...

The parents mentioned that there's nothing to work on for the wedding("Yeah right!").but action jer!! They are geared for my wedding actually... u see, actions speak louder than words..!! They're grumbling how tiring it is..but i guesss they're enjoying it. Haha..

here's the secret:-Dad has tailormade the curtains for the hall.. -TAILORED!! yeas.. TAILORED u know! All the while mom has been the tailor..We have rarely tailored our baju kurung much more the house curtains,but for the ocassion, it's TAILOR-MADE!! Dad opted for TAILOR-MADE! How nice! More shocking was the colour.. Now dad's simply crazy with that colour.. eveythin that colour.. Everything is with that colour.
The room curtains are gonna be tailored by mom though..So mom will start her work today, that is IF they are not going out again later...

House painting will be soon, it'll be the same pure whitey colour and the MOM wants to have the door varnished..So maybe they may go out today to look for agents doing door varnishes, which i see no need for it. Like waste of money sia. I could use that money fror spa ke, HOneymoon expenses ke.. haha!

Yah and i am finally in the mood for my dulangs!!suddenly. Ideas are creeping from my pea brain. Because i want to use ALL the ideas in my head, i am lost, and i feel selfish. I can't seem to throw that idea so compiling them is making my head grow numb, and maybe losing my hair before the wedding! 4 dulangs almost done in 4 mths.. (*erks^&%$! i relax too much!)

Furniture shopping will be done soon, and i hope i get what i want within the budget(**prays to Allah**)... aaaah...

and i need a total body revamp!.. i need to lose weight.. maybe i should tape my mouth lah ah. hmm puke or maybe fall sick and lose weight.. urgh!eat less lah(been trying and managing this), exercise too.(but i need to grab gd shoes lah).. the steps to 24th floor seems to b not working..

Haiz my mom is already making a LOT of noise and wants me stop working @ SB, because SHE felt that i've earned enough and need more time for my wedding preparations but i felt otherwise. i feel that i can't earn enough, i'm hanging on because i love the nice pple i worked with and the nice customers, and earning tips like my allowance, enough for my whole week transportation fee?(sometimes). Toasted bagel for my morning breakfast, with the refreshing fruity raspberry cocoa or having a nice cuppa zesty mint tea or make my own iced cocoa. And relaxing with the same song playing all over again and humming to ourselves while making the place spick and span after the morning rush of slams.. hungry cyclists from Brewerkz, cycled to Kulai and back here, Sweet Macsim and nice Shannen. Cool Dr HUgo and of coz all the other cool customers. Ouh and the heavy sighs while bussing with so mnay plates t o waash and carry,, and our backroom gossips!!- My best job experience ever is surely STarbucks experience. It's more MORE expensive than the pay they gave me.

Feelin Mint Tee

2006-04-04T22:00:00.000+08:00

I was merely out the whole week till yesterday.
-Sat
i bought my mas kahwin, solely selected by my Smeagol and his mom. I dunno to me i like it's simplicity. I'm sure it'll be lots of comemnts on the items that have been bought... We got in the cabutan bertuah.. help me pray that i win 22K! hmm 2 K or ten K pun jadilah.. insyallah it may help me in my preps and my future man.. amiiin! Dulangs been stagnant and not much of a progress the baskets are almost collecting a pack of dust if i dun get it finished and completed soon. Mom's buzzing on my ear.

-Sun
Out again to Starbucks.. doin opening.IT was soo sucky! i forgot my hone and i became so disoriented.... and bro came to store wheni ahd already left Oph.. It felt so incomplete havin no phone by my side..hahah..
Work has ok but i miss the times talking and listening and havin fun. It seems like a chore waking up early in the morning but the crowd is of course better than my users in HP! I was of coz craving for iCED MINt Tea..self made leh! yummy!
anyway i managed to meet up with Smeagol after turning round and round at wisma..
I'm almost done shopping for his items..I bought his wallet liao. ANd dad tot it was his present and kept it.. erks
so looks like i'll be needing another wallet to be given to him..

-Mon.
I forgot my appt with the ladies.. and luckily sheda reminded me.. yes! anyway work sucks.. my friend really planned his mc. sux. tweo days some more. and new acct just came in and boy it kept ringing and beeping..
and we had turkish food & Mint tea again!plus all he ghostly story and our fore fathers land and belief. so u can imagine me..goin home with the freaky stories running in my thoughts...

the MC fren sms-ed and asked me whose coverin if shift.. OF COZ ME LAH! haiya. then we got to know that we faled almost all our accounts.. best lor. ol 50% call pick up .. and we have to get almos 80% as pasing mark.. die like this!
Neko's not been home for 2 days now, sigh i wished i can love him more. and today dinner with my family we had a feast plus mom made her own Mint ice! Well at least it made my day!

*********************

Sometimes in life u can never wish to have a perfect story

i wish and pray that come the day i get married, everything goes well. Amiin.

I'm worried not for the love of my Smeagol.

I know he loves me lots. NOt of my parents. NOt of my brothers.

but she.

2006-03-27T18:28:00.000+08:00

one more minute encounting *jumps*

2006-03-27T18:16:00.000+08:00

I'm happy when i'm leaving my work place.. *smiles*

my baby bro made my day..

2006-03-24T08:40:00.000+08:00

I was at work yesterday when my bro sms-ed me and enquired on where i bought the "alphanumeric bag" ..

"Alphanumeric bag???"

Specifically he did not tell me is it a tote bag? backpack? small bag? sling bag?So i had to scan though my thoughts and try to recollect how that "Alphanumeric" bag looks like.
Still curious and wanting to refresh my memory i called him..

Me: Mi,bag apa yang ko cakap ni?
Bro: Alah yang alphanumeric ah
me: Huh?
Bro: entah aku pun tak tahu ko nyer ke bb
me: Aku tak ingat pun... is it the blue bag yang ko slalu pakai tu, yang bag adidas, besar..
Bro: Bukan..tu bag aku tau ko nyer bukan yang Adidas bole cari kat kedai.
me: abeh yang mana?? size camner.
Bro: Alah yang dalam dia kuning. Kat luar ada logo kecik..
me :huh????
Bro: alah luar dia hijau blue ke grey...(he was not sure and that reminded me to not ask of the colour)
me: (Burst laughing)oi! ko ni cam betul jer kuning... blue grey.. nanti hijau ko cakap blue! tak dedescription lain..
Bro: ala
me: Balik cakap and u show me the bag.. (laughs)

oops terlupa

2006-03-23T15:13:00.000+08:00

and i forgot to mention..

EZ!

KAK JULEE!

update ur blog!!

EZ!
KAK JULEE!
update ur blog!!

Me is for me. M is for Md Hedir m is for mine and M is missing!

2006-03-23T14:25:00.000+08:00

Pain or gian?? ..... hahaah the earlier title for my post WAS supposed to be "Pain or Gain"... wahaha and pls excuse me for my horrible typo erros that i have.. my M was missing and all due to my carelessness in checking and so much "Thanks" from my work keyboard..(i had replaced with a much more silent keyboard.. yeah!)

Well it's much late to start on my year's resolution for 2006 however fate has brought me to meet two great Primary school frens whom i've lost touch for almost 10 years!.. It all came from Friendster and the much hated job here in Helpdesk. I was handling a case when i came along with a familiar name.. putting on abrave front, i enquired my user a personal question.. True enough i got my answers! and bonus part is i got to keep in touch with my friend!

As for the other gal, well i was found in her friend's link and since then, we've been in contact. Sadly she is now iving in Marsiling and it has been almost ten yrs since she moved there..and yet i did not know. If technology was around ten yrs back, i may have been incontact with her by then.. sigh.. fate broke us apart.. Fate to brought me and her together.. ;p

My belated pressie by Smeagol is much liked by both of us.. so We are almost arguing on it ALL the time....

counting days and weeks to the ocassion of my life but everythings all in a mess my mom's making noise that i've yet to finish the dulang deco only ONE completed after two months and not getting everything in place.i have not verified what i wanted for cards deco and all and she's chasing me..grrh to contact the lady to confirm our berkat as well. ... how pathetic~~. She's busy with measuring the curtain walls and waiting for Pa to buy them, SIS just CAN't wait for me to be out of the ROOM. We have been bickering and bickering since mid month and i wished that times were better like last month when she was so nice and cheery to me. NOw she's always snapping at me. PMS. Smeagol advised that i should just ignore what she's doing but i have guilty conscience now. It sux. I wish i can do everything togetherlike what i do with Echa or ezi or kin or Smeagol.. but it sux though coz

work's been all but Jolly. I'm dragging myself to work and if by three months time i get lazzy waking up early i'll get a warning letter.. for being LATE.. so funny rite.. i counted that i was seldom late but then, i'm 6 times late.. oh sharks...and i can't wait for weekends and April to come..

shit i just realised i'm dead broke again this yr for dad's birthday coming this tuesday.. oh ..shit... oh shit..

Pain or gian?

2006-03-20T15:44:00.000+08:00

the massage was great but today .. grrh! so am i supposed to feel pain or lighter.. my hands feel so tired from my ars down, my shoulders are crying!
sigh a i supposed to feel this way? gosh i just hope the wind will go off.. i'm burping LOT OF wind today when i rubbed my sore parts of my body.. sobs!

WOrk is not helping too it sux really it sux.

me

2006-03-19T01:38:00.000+08:00

Great.. i pressed the wrong button aand i lost my whole entry...
anyway u guys should try these at home.. press Ctrl+Alt+(arrow down key)

enjoy!

thank yu! tank u!"thank U~"

2006-03-16T15:46:00.000+08:00

nani in da house.. yo yo ! wassup yor!
hahah this is bull.. anyway yeah i'm thanking all the well wishers.. feeling MATURED.. not old yar..

oh i'm goin shopping for stuff this saturday.. muehaheheheheehe i shal wait in eager for it then and will tell ya more bout it next week..

oh well so much for wanting to post pictures.. i have vey stupid users at hoome..all my files are hay wire now.. most of the files are GONE.. deleted!! kapush..that's not all my other folders are all aroound my HDD. everywhere. can u imagine that! so how do u feel.. when u know.. that a picture says a thousand words and u know u can hardly get that caption twice. e.g weddings and yes expressions.. i'm pissed. If i have a network pC i'll grant them ONLY read access baru tau! I should have just created one single user for y siblings one for dad and one e.. hmpft! argh sickening! i can't wait to get my own new laptop or PC after my marriage, one day when i get a house and of course i share it with Smeagol.. hee :P

oh ya smeagol and me r counting the days and we are stressed out with $$ being the waterfall to our marriage.. we're pouring it all out to all our wedding expenses.. but brighter side , it'll be what we want .. happiness for our parents and of course waiting to see the pple we invite.. the friends the pple to share our joy together.. bismillah hopefully it goes along smooth lor.. gd food and no circuit break up ah and happy faces ..

can u believe it?? my niece does not want e to get married! coz she's terrified that i'll not love her. She does not want me to hold "her bouquet" of flowers... oh and i wonder who corrupted her ind.. hm naughty. naughty.
Well i'll just pray that we become a package safe and with lots of blessings from our parent and our elders.. weheheheh.. counting stones.. counting flower petals, counting $$ but most of all..counting the days!

yeah and More savings for us after marriage lah.

5 more pay days

2006-03-13T13:46:00.000+08:00

i have 5 ore paydays to save.. 5 more paydays to save...

It's like hell saving money but we're going through it finally the days are really nubered and i've git so much pending things to do and i can't decide on where ti start fro.
The rings are ready for collection but we've yet to engrave them so it's still in the shop. Mom is worried that we will get cheated of the rings that we bought.. April will be another busy month withmore things to do and less time & ONEY to spend on ..Come to think of it, i have to think iof where to go if we have a honeymoon, house to pay for and the necessary household machines we became so dependent on. And ore to think of go sembah sembah y goodness i wish that will come useful if i had less uncles and aunties from Dad's side.. grrh! but of course the best part is the more the merrier.. i have my cousins to fall back on when i need the and yes they've been greta advisors and moral support for the wedding..which more will be tested on my wedding day.
meetin up with her tonight to savour our kuih layang-layang.. yummy!

Oh well wedding bells hit yesterday, Smeagol's cuzzie,Shiba got married and boy she looked stunning! i'll put the pics up soon.. swear*.. and Pau got married, too. I nearly missed Shiba's sanding but yeah thanks to Yani for her ride i came on time to bid her goodbye as she's on the way to the guy side... so menawannN!Overall it was a tiring weekend.. and thanks to tidying up my top cupboard and putting the tumblers and mugs from Starbucks in boxes yesterday night, i got my eyes swollen attacked by dust mites from my old files.. fortunately, it's slightly better now although it does makes me tired and sleepy. hmpft!

i got minee!

2006-03-06T17:26:00.000+08:00

So i had been sick and busy and finally met baby on Thurs to get his watch. We had dinner and the next moment i was in bed tired and exhausted.

On friday after work, i met Smeagol again. This time we made our rounds to hunt for my perfect watch. I guessed if he could bang my head, he would coz i was too fickle and always have the feeling that i may find something better and better.Nevetheless this time he was composed and patient (getting used to my shopping behaviour, i guess!) i wish i was something like him not fickle and get and grab kind of person.. So we went form one store to another and i nearly left my watch coz i took it out and forgot to wear it back..and yeah i finally got my watch BUT... it was the last piece!The display piece and the price will be as it is.. Smeagol was not in favour of a display case, so off we went to the next shop to really finalise if i could find anything i liked.. yeah i finally got it, but it's my Smeagol's choice one because it's a blink blink.. and it's his fav brand.. I loved it but sadly it's a lil heavy but the ain thing is i loveed it and so does him..and i dun get to bring it home!! boo hoo! Then we had dinner and off home again.

Sat was shoppoing day for baby. He purchased to shirts to fill up his collection.. hmm and i did not spend much becoz sis got hurt and i helped her with the bills since she has not gotten her pay yet. Did want to accompany her but she managed to go to the Changi Hospital with her fren. We watched Wolf creek and boy it was gruesome and i really pity the ladies. SIgh and it is somemore a true story!

so Sunday, we rest and attended weddings. next week weddings galore again!

back to work..

2006-03-03T17:14:00.000+08:00

I'm back at work since yesterday... i finally bought my Smeagol his long awaited gift with my hard earned money!!!!!!
it was an impromptu visit to the shop.. i shall have to preserve the watch like those jades in the chinese Jewellery shops.. the more preserved, the more priceless! no sneaks @ all!Oh yeah and i so missed him that meeting him was like ouh!undescribable!

And yeah the numb feeling of my teth falling out .. were atrocious this few days! imagine Bowls and bowls of porridge were my supplements for a week. Everyone at home were having their time of their life. Mom was cooking extra lot when i was around, EXCEPT, i can't enjoy the food. Mee hoon goreng , mee soup, all my favourite food was around..for 8 str8 days!
so when i had my stitches taken out that Tuesday, i pretended to be well and healthy again~. We went to Johor,I gobbled some rice.. and ooouh the pain was slight. Then i was craving for kaya balls.. and i brushed away the pain as .. the more pain, the faster it recovers. Since it's my nerves, i should battle it and flex them before it really get jammed.
Then i passed by a SUSHI BAR! ok.. there's still some soft spot for Sushi in my stomach.. so i grabbed 5 pcs and limit to 3, 2 for my momm since dad hate sushi.. haahaa. and i lurveee sushi esp UNAGI! walk some more in GIant and... WALA! i saw some more fooood! char kuey, PIZZA!! danish!!Shepherd PIE!!!!Chicken roasted!Prawn and sotong balls like those in Old chang kee! oh dear... my taste buds were hay wire.. ! but of course i knew i can never savour them. All of that have to wait till i' fully recovered.i felt like i was SIX!Humming and happy.
I could not even wait to reach home and i opened the akya balls in the car...the craving was killed. I was licking the kaya till the tip of my tips. soon after my third kaya ball, the irritable pain came, and due to the constartint i could not finish them, neglected some of my sushi somemore! and by night fall.. all the food i took were happily eaten by my little brat Bro!!!He has contented that i lost my tooth coz all the food became HIS. boy i feel so unlucky..

gtg catch the bus or i'll be late meeting my smeagol again! toodles!

yeah i finally remembered.

2006-02-22T22:48:00.001+08:00

So i was supposed to mention that i had a one day admission to the hospital.. and now my face look weird..
I've got swollen cheeks..
I went for my wisdom tooth extraction, all 4 removed at one go. I had two growing around my nerves and 2 more on my veins.. so u can imagine how tensed i got and my blood pressure went up thinking bout it.

Initially i had finalised my mind to pull out only my bottom teeth, butsince i was on GE, i might as well kill all the birds with one stone.

6.00 - mom woke me up.
7.00 - board the bus
7.26 - reach the hospital, registration, Ward 1
8.00 - Signed papers and brought to my ward.Change to their Suit.
--off to level 3 with nothing metallic on my body.
--on the operation theatre introduced to a line of surgeons,
11.00 - unconscious woken by the horrendous coldness and teeth all extracted.
And i was detained when i tried to snake my way out coz when they ask u to rest an dsleep, there were too much loud bangs from the nurses.. they work so noisily!
and here i am still up and awake when i am suposed to sleep and rest/ "Medicine may cause drowiness" but just an hour..
and i still can't sleep coz i can't bear the pulling pain arghH!!!!
so no solid food and my consumption today is just half muffin, milk, milo and porridge for dinner...
oh well.. resting for 8 days will be a nightmare coz i have a schedule in Starbucks..shit man. with my unopened mouth how to serve!

hmm

2006-02-21T18:14:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah before i forget .. yeah.. shit i forget.. again becoz the case just came in at work. again and again.. i'll update more soon..

fyi KIn, open a blog lah! and dah found job yet?

The sunday -

2006-02-21T17:58:00.000+08:00

It has finally come to the end of my 3 day Khusus. and boy i'll miss the people i met up with. Funny how small the wold revolves. I met Kak juli's ex crew, my friends ex schoolmate and a friend's cuzzie. People from my neighbouring estates too.
So i have officially passed and next step REGISTRATION!
whic is within days to it .. fast yar??
and i'm getting panicky on whom to invite that my list is hanging and my head is growing with names.. and shit... i am soo afraid i missed someone important!..

After the registration, off to watch the Pink Panther..with my Smeagol and then head home for kenduri at Abang boi's house. Off to home again and went out again to send Oshie home..It was a wee spent weekend and i wished i had ore time to fit in my working schedule at Starbucks and my family, and of course to finish up what i had started a few weeks back.. hmm

so i missed my friend who has left for Dubai and no message from her yet.. sigh.

my long weekend- Saturday

2006-02-21T17:22:00.000+08:00

I woke up super late and had to waste my $ on cab again.. i think it's the cab mmonth this month.. more than 100 bucks spent ..grhhh!
If i had known.
If.
"The training is at 8.30, pls meet at the meeting room"
I woke up at 8.00am and was super duper late.. so i washed up, chose my shirt that needs no ironing(it's becoming my fav blouse), took my bag, came back for my make up set coz i had to attend a wedding later, and flagged a cab. Norm routine these few days.. what was more aggravating was, i apologised that i am late to my superior on ly to find that i WAS NOT late! it was supposed to start at 9AM and i reached there by 8.40 am.. oh yes~ if i had not been mislead, i could have saved my $$!
sigh..

After training, Shidah drove us to Aniyah's wedding. Simple golden white wedding.. smily faces .. but how i wish i had seen more of the people i know..
off to Tamp to meet my colleague but she will be late so i called sheda, and we had an impromptu meet up.

Ma- Sa- Chi~
Thanks for Sheda's company that i went out of the pameran a happy woman.. i was a lil bit disappointed though coz i was looking out for dulang hantaran ideas but i got none. and the book went 'SOLD OUT'. You can try at the mam shop around TKC and Joo Chiat.. yah rite.
We zig zagged our way there but all we could find were mostly indon stuff and wedding packages from most new companies.

Of course it's never a thing where you can go there cashless so i bought just 50bucks ..ingatkan nak save $$ lah konon.. to prevent my starving glittering eyes to find new things and splurge. And says who that you can go out empty handed.. you either bring backk all those brochures to consider or to be placed in Your rubbish bin back home. Of course, i was not exceptional. more brochures " cheap packages" etc etc and i ended up in this "LUCKY DRAW".. with a catch. test product lor.. and yes i got manipulated and echa and me are off to a spa treat for
- body massage, body scrub, and something else for me , while sheda goes for the two mentioned, plus a foot massage all for the price of 68 bucks...!

So i did not manage to keep my 50 bucks untouched.. IN FACT i exceeded my expenditure for the expo.. see~.. told ya. you never leave empty handed..

Off to meet Ezi and min for chit chat in town and home sweet home.. sunday will be another long day........

when the world turns

2006-02-14T20:52:00.000+08:00

i worry too much.. maybe i am just worrying too much

y dubai? y?!

2006-01-25T15:36:00.000+08:00

The truth is out. I finally heard it from her. I have prayed that she does not get the job. WAs i being selfish?! i hope so. NOw my real friend i had for so long is leaving me for dubai. i wish it was nearer. I wish she had not got that job. If only i was willed enough. If only i was there for her for all her troubles she had been through. I pray her well in her 3 years bond with the airline and she not forget our times we had. I feel weak and i feel like a cry baby. sharks. and I am still at work.

the mind speaks by herself

2006-01-23T16:49:00.000+08:00

This few days it has been hectic and tiring. Still juggling and trying to find my oath in this IT world. It speaks to great mind how i can be 'motivated' to yet work in this environment and play safe to encourage myself how 'continuously' nice i get to learn all this. UPGRADE myself through all this setbacks. The problems solved seems to be like those OS class PBL -the so called Problem-based learning which i "MOST ENVY" when we were taking Operationg systems with that One lecturer .. i 'favoured' most. Remember him.. they say the most 'favoured' are the most remmebered by the student.

It seems ironic that i neversee my life being so IT. Taking this job was a mere getaway and a setback away from stress and i fell into a more stressed line.
There are the ups and downs..

I get free learning skills but i have to move in fast with the groups... (**runs...huffing and puffing)
no more late nights fear of phone rings from customer.. no wakes in the middle of the night ;which proves this sooo wrong coz bro knows i'm at home nowadays.. my HandPhone is now the Main Telephone line at home b-coz Starhuib sucks in their reception right high above Pandan Gardens skyline werst than mine. and only dad and me are not from Starhub.
i freakingly hate IT and i slef proclaimed that i must turn this around and find a job with mush less IT than BlackBerry.i've landed myself in an IT line more werst than BLACKBERRY.
And i cry to think that i can forget about how to do file sharinG! grrrh! it's so simple!
I thought Blackbery were too IT in server.. but hinking back i've landed into a simply IT job. I dun deal with sales people. I deal with ENGINEERS, ADMINISTRATORS, USERS and IT profound vendors who lingos with IT explanations.

So you may laugh that i have all the weird expressions and tried glueing my face to the screen to avoid embarassment that my colleagues were last time engineers and system admins and server admins.. where simple things they can have the info at the tip of their fingers. they troubleshoot closing their eyes..

me?

I have the biggest round eyes popping out.

swear.

And when i think of maybe i should pursue my studies, i planned to run away from IT but would it make a life worth moving away from since ih ave move a step further. God knows.

Oh.. above all this i enjoy my weekends .. and yes, i get enuff more sleep and even way more sleep than ever.. i'm still late for work nowadays though it's only a 20 min ride from home!

Bismillah please give me strength

2005-12-30T18:08:00.000+08:00

Akum to my frens.. 2006 is approaching in less than 48 hours as i typed. There will bel ots of celebration across the wold. But with what's happening and have been happening around. I thank allahfor letting me live a day at a time and making me feel scared. Scared because all the signs of him ending the world is truthfully horrifying me. I prayed and ask for his blessings that i get to see a day at a time and not a day werst at a time. I pray that i become someone Sane and not the opposite. I pray that i live a better life each day.

It's such a pain for me to see how a spend thrift i became. It's so sickening to see that i spend so much on stuff that questioned how i could lived to survive with only 600 permonth when i was schooling and even save but not today. SO much that i'm earning more than what i should earn this days,
i could have achieved my dreams of
: getting married
: car license
: car for me
: a degree
: help with my parent's income.
:perform my HAJ
and managed a life time savings. May Allah gave me strength this 2006 to achieve all the above. I should stop wasting my precious time working hard and achieve nothing.. i should start thinking about giving to Allah.

4 2005

2005-12-12T17:04:00.000+08:00

forget all my posts.. DEC was a hectic month
I had drafts and drafts of entry but all incomplete.. minutes to update them were too little to spare my long thoughts.
Here are some updates. and i may have missed them out:
-Christmas charity drive * BlasT it was fun. I had fun! did ya?
-i went exercising and played tennis then i did aqua training all in 4 hours.
-i met my feren, ekin. I LOVE U
-I was busy with cuzzie wedding

and then there were a few which i just can't remember.

Meeting Kin was the date of the. I would say i'm glad that she's kicking hard.
So please call me if u need a job.. I have a nice hardworking fren with customer service experience **winks

My cuzzie's wedding was a blast apart from my busy life i'm glad that i felt that i was important in her wedding. But it did triggered me that i'm months away to join her with a BIG W. BIG M.. baah!

It's gonna be a hectic year ahead..

2005-12-02T13:35:00.000+08:00

Officially, i have a new member in my family. Bro has brought a cat home..NEKO!!!!!!

next wedding bell

2005-11-24T12:12:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah the solemnisation between my cuzzie and adam aka Brent went well and they are now safely known as husband and wife. I was late that saturday. I was supposed to be there in the early morning to oversee stuff in her room deco. I came ten minutes before the appointed time for her solemnisation. The Tok Kadi was late and thus it saved my impromptu decision to spice the bedroom's ambience for the newly wed..now next busy schedule will be my dad's side.. our first wedding bells for my dad's side.
So busy following my cuzzie to Johor that i forgot to leave a message to congratulate ct ros on her wedding day.

Have to be catch up with the rest here. new job has so many helpdesk support.. and fortunately one of them is my schoolmate from TP. still adapting to the environment.. and i feel so tame.. so introvert.. hahah whatever happened to me man?!

been working back to back and i'm feeling the fatigueness.. anybody have lubang for easy work PT job so i can save more money and drop STarbucks.. sigh.. i wish they increase the manpower.. we're slogging like bulldozers this few months. grrh!

Lost 37 bucks to short in my till.. MADNESS. i'm so furious that i had to pay 100% of it! plus ten buck on the nets part. AND for the first time in 5 years, i never had lost that much of money lor. which i think is weird! Not to say i'm gd but maths is my strength and sespecially dealing with money.. kalau tak keje selalu pun, everyday i count money.. tak kan lah aku bodoh sangat kasi customer extra 2 dua kali kan.. so ring the bell.. me to blame.. bingit giler la..mood to work dah high.. kena shortage.. dah malas lah nak work lagi..waste my time working on a saturday!lagi!!keje macal 4 orang nyer keje.. bingit bingit bingit!